We're the Guardians... Guardians of the Galaxy

Kiss My Ashes Goodbye

"Curse all those who were so vain..."

I wasn't planning on doing a review of the Guardians of the Galaxy film but Aishling said I should. Also if anyone is having doubts about going to see it I hope this will help make up your mind. Because you really need to see it. At least twice. I hope to go see it for a third time next week. And when it finally comes out on blu-ray I will buy it and watch it many more times.

When was the last time you watched a film over and over? I asked Ash that question the other day. She said Jurassic Park and Aladdin. Myself? I can't remember. That's what happens when you turn 26. And I'll be turning 26 again in a couple of weeks. The problem with growing up/the internet is that there is too much stuff available to you. It even makes it hard to listen to an album. Damn iPod shuffle. But the youth are keeping the joy alive. A few weeks ago my sister told me how her friend's kid watched our DVD of My Neighbour Totoro so much that the disc wore out. That's dedication. And the perfect film to wear out. And my DVD. Will I get a replacement, Michelle?

He needs a rest after all that.

Enough about my lost youth. It only reminds me of all the awesome toys I used to have and was too young to realise how much I'd want them now. I was watching Toy Story 3 today and I was just thinking that even though Andy didn't want to play with his toys any more because he was going to college, in another 10 years he'd wish he still had them. I don't know how a film review ended up as a pathos of childhood.

"Who felt entitled to hold a place on the earth..."

A bit of background on the comic from what I can remember reading from Wikipedia and for those who just want a Cliff-notes version:
The Guardians in the film are not the original Guardians from the comic. Yondu, played by Michael rooker who is never bad in anything or in real life, was one of the original members of the 1969 Guardians. He did have a bigger mohawk in the comics and a bow to go with his arrow but he did also whistle to control the arrow. The Guardians in the film are based on the 2008 reboot cast. If you've seen the film you know Rocket's background but in the comics he was actually genetically modified, along with other animals, to look after the mentally ill people of the planet.

Chris would be a helpful Rocket Raccoon.

If you're one of the people who have a problem with Marvel movies you need to know that just because this is from Marvel it doesn't exactly feel like one. There are links to the greater Marvel Cinematic Universe, with a couple of characters appearing, but because this was more of a test James Gunn was able to have Funn with it (you like that?). And he had a tremendous amount of fun making it. If Captain America was too serious and Thor 2 was too lovey for you then this has the balance of neither.

It's like when the singer of a band you love goes and does a side project. They have fun doing something different and that is what inevitably makes the side project better. Just like when Phil Anselmo formed Down. Now that I've gotten onto music (how did that happen?) I will talk about the soundtrack for the film. It is the greatest soundtrack ever. Myself and others have been listening to it constantly. I'm listening to it now while writing this. It just proves how much better music was until record companies/indie bands/emos/pretentious-cunts-with-full-stops-in-their-name got involved and eventually ruined everything magical about music. Tarantino knows how to use a song to make a scene better. The end of The Devil's Rejects was infinitely better for having Skynyrd's Free Bird. But then Free Bird would make anything better. Except Transformers. That shit is a lost cause.

 "As a grave for their remains"

Just like the other Marvel films the casting for Guardians was spot on. Although I do think Odin should have been played by Brian Blessed but at least Anthony Hopkins tried harder in Thor 2. As a wrestling fan I never really liked Dave Bautista's Batista character. Especially when he returned this year after going Hollywood and was just a skinny jean wearing douche character of himself. But in Guardians he was one of the best characters being that he was literal about everything that was said. I was pleasantly surprised. Lee Pace was unrecognisable as Ronan the Accuser. It was a real change of character for him. Who knew a pie maker could be so evil? For anyone who has seen Parks & Recreation you will know just how good Chris Pratt is. The man writes his own songs in the show. Just listen to his song about the Jean-Claude van Damme film Sudden Death:

http://youtu.be/2aVbW-bnnEA

I couldn't get the embed code for it and NBC are asses for not allowing outsiders to watch their videos. But watch it. You will not be disappointed. It's as if the Star-Lord character was created for him. Or he was created for it. Either way we deserved it. The only other person I could think of playing Star-Lord would be Nathon Fillion (did you spot him in the film?) but maybe he could be Star-Lord's dad?

Andy likes that idea too.

I won't say any more about it now. Just go and watch it. Again and again. It also has the single best dance sequence of any film. Yes, even better than Hot Rod's. When I do get the Guardians on blu-ray I think I will have to have a double bill screening of it and Pacific Rim back-to-back. Now that is what life is about.

"But no monument for me, please... I am not one of them..."

If you were astute enough to notice the name of this post you might have figured out that it's paraphrasing Amon Amarth whom myself and Aishling got to meet last week. It was a really awkward time but one that I enjoyed because I got to meet one of my favourite bands. I even got the first album of theirs I ever bought signed by them. With Oden On Our Side. No matter how awkward it was I still wouldn't change it. Thanks for winning the competition, Ash. Now win me one so we can meet Mastodon.

"I didn't need it in life, I won't need it in death"

That will be it for now. You'll have to absorb this blog slowly to tide you over until the next one. And watch Parks & Recreation in the meantime. You'll need more Chris Pratt until the Guardians of the Galaxy sequel comes out in 2017.

Recommendation: Zodiac
David Fincher's very tense and very true to life story of the Zodiac killer(s).

Now go away. And remember, if you're doing the ice bucket challenge, no one gives a fuck. Certainly not these awesome badasses: