Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Silver Shamrock

Halloween Horror Movie Marathon Massacre

Each year I hold my very own Halloween movie marathon. It is open to anyone who wishes to attend and last year I equalled the all time attendance record of 3. And that includes myself. This year I expect the attendance to range from 1 to 2.

How I feel.

This blog will be about some of the films I watched last year and some of the ones I'm planning on watching this year. I apologise if I don't review a lot of them efficiently enough but it has been a while since I've seen them. Hopefully there will be some that you'll like to watch yourself at this time of year, especially since most TV stations, here in Ireland anyway, seem to keep all their horror films for Christmas. Who doesn't like watching The Exorcist while taking down a whole selection box. Maybe it's a warning not to overdo it on the food.

"Too many cuntin' sprouts!"

"Sister, we are the freaks"

Thanks to Aishling, last year the marathon started off with Hocus Pocus. As it probably will do again this year. If you need to be told to watch this film then you definitely have not seen it and you are missing out. I'm pretty sure it is the perfect child-friendly Halloween film. And it has the dude from Eerie, Indiana in it.

Now that the child in you has been satisfied it's time to move onto The Mummy. This is the classic Boris Karloff Universal monster movie. Even though it is 70 years old it is still a great, quite suspenseful film.

You could be forgiven for thinking Stake Land would be a comedy about vampires since it came out a year after Zombieland but the only similarities are in the title. Also there is a grizzled older man helping a younger man across the country. But that's all. I think. It is actually more like The Road. During a time when everyone and their brain dead mothers are in love with any pale-faced fucker with sharp teeth and hair product, it's refreshing to find a film that knows how vampires are supposed to act. They want to kill you, not read poetry. This is a grim, grimey gem.

I had heard good things about Sleepaway Camp for some time. While it is a typical 80s slasher it does have some good deaths and an ending you need to see that puts it on a higher level than some of it's peers.

The Return of the Living Dead is a classic. It expertly combines black comedy with horror gore and has some of the best looking zombies in any film, before or since. Everyone will remember the half dead woman and especially the Tarman zombie. But you shouldn't expect anything less from the man who wrote Alien and Total Recall.

"Wow. Dubstep sucks"


Did you discover the theme of the list of films above? It was types of monsters of horror. There were witches, a mummy, vampires, slasher and zombies. I also had a serial killer one that I didn't get round to watching. Maybe this year.

I still haven't decided what I want to watch this Halloween but I did come up with two themes I could go for. Or I might just watch anything I feel like.

The first theme is films by famous horror directors.

"There's something in the fog"

Rather than write a piece on each film I'll just list them out.

John Carpenter's The Fog (or The Thing, or Halloween or Prince of Darkness, or Big Trouble in Little China)
Suspiria by Dario Argento (If you only see one film about a ballet school make it this one)
Black Sabbath by Mario Bava (I am quite fond of a portmanteau)
Pan's Labyrinth by Guillermo del Toro (A masterpiece)
Audition by Takashi Miike (or Imprint, his hour long episode for The Masters of Horror series)
The House by the Cemetery by Lucio Fulci (Worth watching just for Simple Bob)

The next theme I thought of was sequels.

"Awww, i guess she had something to do"

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (It steps away from Michael Myers for a new story, the way John Carpenter had planned for the Halloween movies to be)
Amityville II: The Possession (I recently bought this in Dealz for €1.49. The Z stands for "Value")
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (I think this is the second best film in the series)
The Devil's Rejects (A great road movie with an awesome clown)
The Exorcist III (Undoes the terribleness of the second film)
Troll 2 (You can thank me after you watch it)

"Tutti fuckin' frutti"

They be the films I might be watching this Halloween. And if they're not I will let you know whether you like it or not. Also if you have any favourites of your own or any recommendations for me then drop me a comment.
Now for my recommendation for you:

Trick 'r Treat

It's a pretty awesome Halloween film that everyone who loves Halloween should see. And watch again every year. Don't confuse it with the other Trick or Treat. If Ozzy and Gene Simmons are in it then you have the wrong one. But watch it anyway.

I suppose that will be all for now. Get out there and watch some horror films.