Saturday, 16 January 2016

I Live, I Die, I Live Again

Coca Cola Lipstick Ring

It may be a little late but here is my favourite films from 2015. Not all were released in 2015 but this is a list of films that I saw last year that were new to me. They will be in no particular order but I may keep my film of the year for the end along with my most hated film of the year. Unless I change my mind half way through writing this. Before we get started God has something to say:


Frank is the story of a musician who meets up with more talented musicians who are friends with a genius who happens to wear a giant fake head. This is an incredibly fun and sad film. It's really well written and Michael Fassbender shows that you can still be a good actor without having to show your face. Sam Worthington should study this film. Or just go away. I'm for the latter.

Big Eyes

I had forgotten that i saw Big Eyes until I was going through my list of films. That doesn't mean that it's a bad film. It's just that it was about a year age since I saw it. Tim Burton tells us the story of how a man takes credit for his wife's paintings and the court battle that ensues. It doesn't feel like a Tim Burton film because it doesn't have any of the fanastical sets that we have become accustomed to but you can see how these paintings has influenced his work so I believe he was the best man for the job.


I didn't know the full story before watching the film, only a few bits that i picked up reading synopsis' of the film and so I wasn't prepared for what really happened. It's one of those thing where you can't believe it happened. It's just too strange. But then rich people are fucked up anyway. Just like Batman. Steve Carell is totally different to how you remember him and even Tanning Chatum acts. But then he went and ruined it by doing garbage again.


Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu deservedly won the Oscar for Best Director for Birdman. It's done in one shot style with a few breaks but it looks great. And Michael Keaton proves that he is a very underrated actor because he is amazing as the actor famous for playing a superhero in the past and now trying to remain relevant. Do you suppose they knew the Batman connection? Weird.

John Wick

Bad people kill Keanu Reeves' dog so he shoots everyone in the head, That's pretty much the plot of the film but it is an enjoyable action film. Simple and fun.

Big Hero 6

I honestly can't remember if I saw this the year before or not but it's worth putting here in case some of you have yet to see it. So go and watch it, What are you waiting for? Hairy baby!!


Some people didn't like Chappie but I loved it. I think Neil Blomkamp will find it hard to top District 9 but I'm happy for him to do whatever he likes. Especially if that next thing will be an Alien film. As for Chappie, it's about a police enforcement robot who gets a special AI and he becomes self-aware and is like a real boy as he taught how to be a gangster. It's "gangsta" Pinocchio crossed with Robocop. And the Robocop reference doesn't end there... *wink wink*

The Theory of Everything

This is the story of Stephen Hawking as told from the perspective of his ex-wife. It is a great film about Stephen Hawking's life dealing with his disease but I find it lacks something and I think that is from being from someone else's point of view rather than Stephen Hawking's. But Eddie Redmayne is perfect in the role.


I didn't get to see Interstellar in the cinema and I wish I had because it must have looked awesome on the big screen. Yet this didn't stop people complaining about it. I had heard bad things about it before watching it and I have to say I don't know what those idiots were talking about. It is a long film and can be quite confusing at times but that still doesn't take away from how good it is. I think these people are from this new breed where they have to shit on films or directors who are getting too famous. It's happened to Wes Anderson too. Bunch of benders these fuckers are.


Nightcrawler is a strange film. Jake Gyllenhaal starts filming night time crime scenes and accidents. All while letting his bug eyes creep you out. But that's not the strange part. It's the fact that unlike most films there is no real character development. In, let's say, Chronicle, the whiney loser at the start develops into a whiney loser by the end but with powers. In this, Jake Gyllenhaal is the same weirdo he was at the start. No powers or anything.


I wasn't a big fan of Rush. It's an OK biopic about the rivalry between James Hunt and Niki Lauda. The problem is that the film made it out that they both hated each other when in fact they were kind of good friends and respected each other. It did make me realise just how bad Ron Howard is as a director. You're better off watching a real documentary.


Paddington is a glorious film about the marmalade loving Peruvian bear. We watched it around summertime but it is more of a Christmas film. So we watched it again on Christmas day. Everone should like this film. Young or old. If you don't then you can stick with your Fast & Furious vroom-vroom films.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

I really liked Age of Ultron but I didn't love it. It wasn't as good as the first Avengers film but this does have James Spader as a big talking robot. I think the expectation was too high for it especially following The Winter Soldier. Plus there was interference from the studio and you should just let certain directors do what they want.

Edge of Tomorrow

If you know me then you know how much I hated Tom Cruise. I wouldn't watch any of his films because I didn't like him. He's always the smiling tiny hero. But I watched Edge of Tomorrow for some reason and I really liked it. I think because Cruise is just a smiling tiny asshole in this. It's like how I hated Colin Farrell until I saw Seven Psychopaths.

Jurassic World

"You're gonna need a bigger park." Or a better one. Is it just me or are kids more annoying in films now? The original is awesome and I remember seeing it in the cinema and even now it's still a masterpiece. I also went to see it in Imax on the 20th anniversary. Jeff Goldbum bod in 3D. But this sequel didn't do anything for me. All I did while watching it was point out all the stupid things the characters were doing and how much I wanted those kids to be eaten. I will say that it was a little better the second time around. Maybe because I got all the complaints out of me the first time.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

What a blast this film was. If you want a good spy/action film then go with this. Aishling, unlike many other wimmins who were all "Oh Mr. Darcy, who's taking the horse to France? teeheehee", never liked Colin Firth in that way until she saw him beat up a bunch of chavs. And Samuel L. Jackson has fun being the megalomanical bad guy. Once you get to the church scene this should become one of your favourite films.


What's better than one Tom Hardy? Two Tom Hardys. And better than that is two Tom Hardys as psychotic gangsters. And according to Aishling having them topless would be even better again. Legend is a fantastic film about the story of the Kray twins. I read a review where the reviewer said that Tom Hardy's acting was poor in this. That reviewer is an imbecile. I don't think it's actually possible for Tom Hardy to act badly. And i think that's more than enough times to write "Tom Hardy" in a paragraph.

Straight Outta Compton

When we came out of Legend we decided to go straight into Straight Outta Compton. Two biopics in one day. If you don't already know, Straight Outta Compton is the story of the formation and eventual break up of NWA. It's at times funny and sad while also scary as to what some of the members went through even before and after they became famous. It glosses over some of the members contributions but it's still worth a watch. And as like most musical biopics it will give you a new appreciation for the music.

I was debating whether to put this in because it's just another Bond film. Same shit, different baddie. It's good at times but ultimately it's the same story. It begins with action that makes you think that it could be good but then the terrible Bond song and credits come on and it's same old same old. Ah here comes the sexism. But wait, The bad guy is actually really good. This could be interesting. No. Sexism again, More sexism. Sexist Bond comment. Sexism. The bad guy is back. Yes! Nope. He's just become a mindless idiot who just wants to kill Bond. What happened to his evil genius brain? Shouldn't he think this out instead of shooting everything? He's dead. Bond. James Bond. Banal remark. Sexism. Sequel.

Terminator: Genisys

Take the first two films. Freeze them. Hasta la vista, baby the shite out of them and walk away to let them melt and form together. Sounds good, doesn't it? But instead someone came along and decided to write a script from memory and what we got was this film. It's by no means a terrible film but it is a typical Hollywood action film with an old terminator. And we've seen most of it before and done better and without Jai Courtney.

Crimson Peak

Guillermo del Toro should be allowed make what he wants. I keep saying that but nobody bothers listening to me. Don't come into this, like most people did, expecting a straight up horror film with jump scares or gore like the Saws or Insidiousssss. Insidii? This is a romantic gothic ghost story. The film even tells you so within the first 10 minutes. Del Toro made a gorgeous looking film just like the ones that influenced him. Shot on actual sets and not in front of green screens. If you can appreciate true art then this is for you because you get to see Tom Hiddleston's butt.

Inside Out

This is a psychological sci-fi thriller about a girl who is being controlled by little creatures inside her head. Actually, Google says it's an animated comedy-drama adventure film. That's not what i thought while watching it. But it is excellent. just don't bring up Bing Bong. Shit!

Pee Wee's Big Adventure

I'm putting this in here because if you haven't seen it you need to. It's insane. I still don't understand it. It's something about a man with the brain of a child going on a road trip across America to recover his bicycle and he meets many strange characters. I guess it's kind of a modern retelling of Jack Kerouac's On The Road.

There Are No Strings On Me

That was the list of some of the new films I saw last year. I still have my film of the year to go but before then I have my most hated films. There are two of them so here they are.

Robocop (2014)

Why? Why did this need to be made? The original is the single greatest film ever made. The remake contains nothing of what made the original so great. The title is the only thing that links these two films. Where the original had the underlying Jesus resurrection thing this one has Robot Cop shooting other robots with stun bullet things. And the last shoot out is in the dark. What is the point of that? I wouldn't buy this shit for a dollar. And what the fuck is with the hand?

Poltergeist (2015)

We watched this remake pretty much straight after watching the original so there was o way we couldn't compare the two. And I will tell you that the original is infinitely better than this. When the remake was announced I was against it because as we all know remakes are shit. But then it came out that Sam Rockwell was gonna be in it so i thought maybe it will be passable. But no. Sam Rockwell doesn't even try. The best example I can give of how different the two films are is when the kid gets taken to the other side. In the original Craig T. Nelson, after a few days, looks like he hasn't slept or washed. You can tell he's having a bad time of it. But in the remake Sam Rockwell looks like he just stepped out of his trailer and is thinking about his next roll. Avoid this one. Or don't. I'm not your mom.

Witness Me!

So now we come to my film of the year. And if you haven't guessed what it is yet then you won't rise from the ashes of this world.

Mad Max: Fury Road

I saw Fury Road five times in three different counties in a month. That's how much i loved it. It's such a simple story but with amazing looking stunts and some of the best characters outside of a Roald Dahl book. Even if they don't have much to say. Even the fringe characters are some of the best and original. You need only look as far as Doof Warrior to see how imaginative this film is.

You get 45 minutes of non-stop action through a desert and then after a 10 minute break you get another 45 minutes of non-stop action through the desert in the opposite direction. It's such a simple idea but where other action films throw in a love story or some kind of bullshit just to try be emotional and connect with the viewer, Fury Road says "fuck that, here's another crazy stunt instead". Perfection.

Shiny and Chrome

So there you have it. My films of 2015. This year is starting off good too. I have The Hateful Eight and The Revenant to see and then there's the comic book blockbusters in the summer. Some people may be against those films but fuck 'em. I'm looking forward to them. I do hope Batman vs. Superman ends up being better than it currently looks in trailers. And Civil War may be the Civil Rights film of our time.
Comment below if you have any comments or comment type things to say about my films or the films you watched. But keep it fresh.

We started with God and now we end with Alien God.

Monday, 23 November 2015

Music It Will Set You Free

Music My Saviour

It has been a long time. I have been busy working so I never got the chance to write a new blog in a while. But I have been thinking about writing this one for a while now. I think it came to me while I was being subjected to the worst radio station anyone could hope to never want to listen to. It was the same playlist every hour. I swear you would hear the same songs at least five times a day. And get to hear it all again the next day. Luckily we were allowed to listen to our own iPods or phones (how much music can you fit on a phone? I've been through this before) or any music box you might have.

Play this Playlist as you read:

It was this juxtaposition of my own awesome music compared to the drivel on the radio that gave me the idea to write this blog about music in general. Now I know everyone has different tastes in music and not everyone can be as enlightened as me but since this is my blog I can write what I want. If you don't like it then you can write your own blog and I won't read it.

I came up with some very insightful stuff and amazing analogies to describe music but I forgot to write them down because I thought my enormous brain could store it all but I think it's all gone now. Oh well. If it comes back to me I'll put it in here.

I believe that music can make you feel something. Shit music can make you feel hatred or pity towards the people "singing" it. But REAL music by actual talented artists can make you feel something more within than without. Does that make sense?

One of the things I love to do is to walk through town listening to Amon Amarth. I am alone and an outsider to the people in town but I don't feel alone because I am in my own world. It's the best place to be. To some, music is an outlet or it has helped them through hard times. While I have never really had a hard time to get through I have found that certain music by certain bands have made me feel... INVINCIBLE.

Of course Ash went to the guy with a bigger beard than mine.

Walking through town listening to Amon Amarth I feel this way. Songs about Vikings and their battles makes me feel like one of them. I have no problem singing along as I walk and to hell with anyone who notices. They can't stop me. Lamb of God do it for me too. I think it's because of the emotion and aggression that their songs exude. Take their song "Overlord" for example, You would never think it was Randy Blythe singing but it just shows the talent the man has. After years of growling vocals he comes out with some clean singing. This also gives the heaviness, that the song veers into, even more impact.

But metal doesn't always need to be aggressive. It can be fun. It can have a groove to make you move. Check out "Bricks and Mortar" by Cancer Bats. A song that also has the message to save the record stores. But I guess they've never tried looking for anything decent in a record shop in Ireland. It's no wonder HMV went under. The fucking shit they sell. And they have fun with their videos. "Sabotage" for example has the band looking for The Beastie Boys to be in their video.

Music doesn't have to be serious either. There are so many different genres of metal and they all have their own style which makes it easy to take the piss out of them. Evil Scarecrow are a metal band but they write songs about robots, mutant crabs and going crazy in space. If a pop act tried to satirize metal they would get their ass handed to them. But because Evil Scarecrow are a metal band formed by metal fans they can get away with it and we respect that and we're all in on the joke because it's our lifestyle to make fun of.

Red Fang have some of the best videos. "Prehistoric Dog" is one of my favourite songs and videos from them. And in "Wires" they just drive their car into a bunch of stuff. We are serious about our music but we know how to have fun with it too.

"Darkness Within" by Machine Head is a love song. Not a typical "I miss you and I think you left our love child in my heart" kind of love song. But a love song to music itself. You may lose your faith in a god but music will always be there for you.

"Because god is in these clef and tone
Salvation is found alone
Haunted by its melody
Music it will set you free"

It's all these feelings that music gives us that has made it one of the most shared and argued about forms of art. I do respect other people's taste in music. I mean, I probably would never have listened to Tom Waits if it wasn't for Aishling. But then she may never have gone on a musical journey with Mastodon if it wasn't for me. And this is what music is about. Showing people that there are more forms of this art out there. Giving people another way to feel things. It may not be the same as what we feel but then that is what makes us individuals.

"Yeah, He knows who's drivin'"

I will not, however, acknowledge pop music as an art form. Some may argue that some acts are real "artists" but that's your retarded view to live with. Pop music is just like McDonalds. It's mass produced with nothing of value in it just to be consumed and shit out ready for the next sad excuse of a meal. There's no point in arguing that with me because I am too stubborn to listen. Plus, it's just scientific fact.

If you listened to the playlist I left at the top, and if you read slow enough, then you should be onto Down as I finish this now. I decided to end on Down because out of all the bands I love and listen to only Down has ever made me feel something no other band has been able to do. Or not made me feel. Whenever I am upset, angry, annoyed or whatever, I can listen to Down and I always feel better. I find it impossible to be sad when listening to them. I guess they centre me. Don't ask me why but that's how it is.

I like to ask people that if they could only ever listen to one song for the rest of their lives what would it be? No matter what music you heard anywhere, in a shop, on a radio, you would only ever hear that one song. Stone the Crow by Down is mine. If you want you can comment what yours would be. Maybe you will introduce me to new music in the way that I may have done for you.

"Come on. Leave a comment"

Thursday, 18 December 2014

Abandon Hope, Ye Who Watch X-Factor

Albums Of The Year:
The Metal Edition:
The Only Edition That Matters

Considering it is halfway through December now I have decided to do my Best Albums of the Year list because I expect I will be in a food coma in the coming weeks.

This won't be a top whatever countdown, it's just some of the albums I have enjoyed this year. There may or may not be a film version of this. It would depend on whether I can remember what films I've seen. But I may leave that until into the new year because I still got time to watch films. Plus I still have to see the conclusion to The Hobbit and I will not see it in 3D after the utterly terrible looking Desolation of Smaug last year. Has everyone now realised how awful 3D is? Captain America was the final straw. And I had to see that in 3D because I wouldn't have been able to continue watching Agents of SHIELD otherwise. If you're still paying to see films in 3D then it is all your fault that it hasn't died out. And I might as well blame you people for all the shitty CGI. Get control of your life for fuck sake.

Behemoth - The Satanist

Where better to start than with the Satanic blackened death metal band Behemoth. This is their follow up the the awesome Evangelion and the comeback album after their singer/leader Nergal's battle with leukemia. The video above is the song Pro Ora Nobis Lucifer, "Pray For Us Lucifer", a sentiment I think we can all get behind. As you can hear in the video (also try the title track), Behemoth stand out from the black metal and death metal bands by having a heavy groove to their sound.

BabyMetal - BabyMetal

The thing with BabyMetal is you either like it or you don't. For the enlightened among us we really love it. How can you not like a song about chocolate? It may be sung in the J-Pop style but the music is heavy and it all just works. Some may say it works better than Symphonic Metal but those people would just be Aishling. The song above isn't as catchy as Headbanger!! or Gimme Choko!! and it does have an electronica sound in it which really only Rammstein can get away with but the reason I'm putting it up is for the breakdown in it. After the little rap part (which I don't have a problem with probably due to my time with Nu Metal) there is a humongous breakdown that most all metalcore bands wish they could dream of.

Killer Be Killed - Killer Be Killed

When members of four different awesome metal bands come together you expect great things. But when Max Cavalera of Soulfly, Troy Sanders of Mastodon, Greg Puciato of Dillinger Escape Plan and Dave Elitch from The Mars Volta you get a kickass album. All three vocalists bring their own distinctive voices to the songs. They even take turns singing the melodic parts but as you would expect Greg is the most melodic as you can hear in this song. At first I did find it too poppy sounding but with more listens comes a greater appreciation of it and it adds to the song itself. For a melodic Troy listen to Melting Of My Marrow. Also, how many riffs does Max Cavalera have in him? He has written over 20 albums.

Down - Down IV Part II

I think I've said before that Down achieve more in an EP than what most bands can do in a full length album. Down continued with their plan of releasing an EP instead of an album which is a great idea considering they usually take five years to release an album. But Part II came out within two years of their last EP. With any luck we'll get more Southern Doom in the near future. This EP is the first release not to feature Kirk Windstein who sadly left the band. Not to worry, as this is still Down down to the core. Everything that makes Down who they are is here. The groovy riffs, the heavy drumming and of course Phil. Plus there is a very Sabbath influenced song in Conjure. Fucking A.

Crowbar - Symmetry In Black

Kirk Windstein left Down to focus on his original band, Crowbar. I can forgive him because Crowbar are awesome. You know when the T-Rex walks in Jurassic Park and the water ripples? The same thing happens when you play a Crowbar song. These are riffs that only get better the louder you play them. This isn't for your sensitive ears. If you can't handle the heaviness/loudness then go join the people in the Ed Sheeran wanker brigade.

Arch Enemy - War Eternal

So, a strange thing happened earlier this year. Angela Gossow announced her departure from Arch Enemy to focus on the managerial side of the band and just as quickly as she had left Alissa White-Gluz from The Agonist had taken her place. The album is a return to form. I had felt they became very stagnant with their previous two albums but with Alissa coming in they seem to be reinvigorated. She doesn't use her melodic singing voice on the album but I hope that she does on the follow up. To hear what she sounds like check out Thank You, Pain by The Agonist. But make sure you listen to the version with Alissa because they also got a new vocalist and re-recorded that song.

Mastodon - Once More 'Round The Sun

Mastodon released one of the best albums of the year. Of any genre. Unfortunately they don't get any recognition because they don't have wimmins shaking their asses in their videos... Oh wait... Nevermind. But they still are overlooked. Once More 'Round The Sun is less riff-heavy as their previous albums but their song writing makes up for it. Like The Hunter before it it takes a little longer to get into but listen to the album a few times and it will gradually unlock your ears to the magnificence of Mastodon. Almost every time I listen to it I end up with a new favourite track. Also, I met Brent. I now know what people feel when they find Jesus in toast.

Orange Goblin - Back From The Abyss

Orange Goblin released my favourite album of 2012, A Eulogy for the Damned. And in those last two years I saw them live twice. They were amazing. They followed that up with Back From The Abyss. This album I had on repeat for a long time. It broke my Mastodon listening cycle. Whereas Eulogy sounded like it could be the soundtrack to a horror film this one sounds more like a Grindhouse soundtrack. The opening track, Sabbath Hex (so-called because if you don't like Black Sabbath you should be cursed), is a good indicator as to how the rest of the album plays out. Fast and in your face. And The Devils Whip is pure Motorhead fanboyism. My favourite track is Heavy Lies The Crown. Probably because it's a song for/about Vikings.

Slipknot - .5: The Gray Chapter

Slipknot finally returned this year! And they returned minus two members but with another kickass album. When they released The Negative One a while back it reminded me of Iowa era Slipknot. It had the heaviness, the aggression and, most importantly, the record scratching. They followed that up with the above video and I wasn't loving it much at first but it plants a seed in your head. One that grows and tells you there's more to see in the video and that makes you listen to the song again and it grows more and you listen some more. And some more. And then you realise that yes, that IS a keg hit or two you heard in there. And finally the plant grows out of your brain and you love it. That analogy sucked. The album itself opens with a very sombre track that, if you know what happened, is very emotional for that reason. But after that track the band bring the heaviness. There are a few mellowish songs which I don't have a problem with because Corey Taylor can show off his range any way he wants and it's always good. Even when singing the Spongebob theme.

Machine Head - Bloodstone and Diamonds

The best way to round out the year is with a new Machine Head album. Orange Goblin stopped me listening to Mastodon. Slipknot stopped me listening to Orange Goblin. And Machine Head stopped me listening to everything. I had this album on a constant repeat for two weeks after it came out. In the first weekend I must have listened to it over ten times. It is that good. Since Through The Ashes Of Empires Machine Head have become an unstoppable force of metal. Listen to it and The Blackening back to back and you may come out of it alive. If you're lucky you will become a devout Headcase. I guess I'm one since I named my blog after their first album.

You couldn't ask for a better opener than Now We Die. It's heavy, melodic and has a string section in there. I've read some comments about people saying they hated the song after hearing the chorus. God forbid a band would add violins to a song. If you're scared of something new then stick to your deathcore bands. They'll never do anything new or shocking. Anyway, you should listen to this album. There's a song on there, I can't remember which one, maybe Game Over, it reminds me of Supercharger (the album that nearly destroyed the band) but that album is much better than people say. It unfairly gets a bad rap. Also, in Game Over, when you realise that the person's grave he will piss on is their former bassist the song becomes a bit angrier. Give the album a go and if it's not for you then try AC/DC. You can listen to their whole back catalogue in one song.

Black Steel And Iron

There are some other albums that came out this year that I haven't properly listened to so I didn't include them and others that I just never got round to getting or listening to. Some of these are:

Opeth - Pale Communion
Electric Wizard - Time To Die
At The Gates - At War With Reality
Devin Townsend - Z2
Judas Priest - Redeemer Of Souls
Triptykon - Melana Chasmata

If any of you have listened to any good albums this year then let me know in the comments so as I can check them out.

I'll leave you with this Goatwhore video. A band I discovered from watching NOLA: Life, Death, & Heavy Blues from the Bayou. A series of documentary videos that you need to watch. Enjoy.

Friday, 31 October 2014

It's Over. For Now...

"Atatata Taata Taatatata Zukkyun!"

It's the end of October and for The 'Ween I have the last part of the Month of Macabre. Number 27 to 31. Here are parts One, Two and Three in case you haven't read them or want to remember what came before. And here is the list one last time.

"Wadadada Daada Daadadada Dokkyun"

27: Scariest Monster

Since I don't find any monsters scary nowadays because monsters in horror films now are either stupid looking or the person holding the camera can't stop shaking it and you just wish they'd shut up and get eaten by the monster. How about you get a tripod and sit the camera on it so we can get a good five second look at the monster instead of a total of ten shaky seconds looking at parts of a creature?
Anyway, I will go for any of the monsters from John Carpenter's The Thing. They are all unique and like any practical effects from the 80s they still look good today. Imagine, The Thing is 32 years old now. The effects and Kurt Russell still look badass after all those years.

28: Spookiest Haunted House

The house from House on Haunted Hill. Vincent Price's house, not Geoffrey Rush's. People are invited to spend the night in the house and if they can stay the whole night they will be given money. But the house is supposedly haunted and strange goings-on... go on and some people are murdered. Like in all his films, Vincent Price gives an astounding performance. He comes to act and doesn't let up. Maybe some people these days should learn from him. If you think your film is crap then try make it good yourself rather than bitching about it afterwards. Ungrateful pricks.

"You think you're cool?"

29: Sickest Torture Porn
29: Best Foreign Horror Film

I was thinking of picking Ringu for this one but then thought that if anyone needs to be told that it's superior to the shitty remake then they need to just drown themselves in a well.
My choice will be R-Point. It's a South Korean film about a squad sent to rescue a missing platoon in Vietnam after receiving an S.O.S transmission. I first saw the film at an Asian film festival over a weekend in Dublin with my brother. I think this was the first film shown and while the other five films were great this was by far the best. I found the film to be quite nerve-racking. It was a long time before and since that I felt that way watching a film.

An awful lot of Deadpool comes up when you search R-Point images.

"Zukyun! Dokyun! Zukyun! Dokyun!"

30: Cutest Demon/Possession

What a stupid question this is. Am I supposed to be attracted to the demon or what? I'm gonna think outside the box with this one and go with the demonic cat from Hausu. Is a cat cute enough for you? It's kind of hard to describe Hausu. Some girls go to one of their aunt's house and weird things happen that you need to see. Do so as soon as possible. You will not regret it. And if you do then you can stick to Transformers. That might be more tailored to your mental age.

31: Best Halloween Party Scene

I'm going with a classic for this one. It's a short film but at the end there's an awesome party scene with all your favourite monster characters. I don't think it was a Halloween party but since it's my film I'm changing it for the purposes of this.



"Yada! Yada! Yada! Yada! Never! Never! Never!"


This brings the Month of Macabre to an end. Or does it? It does...? It's not like a horror film, it will be over. Or will it?

Since today is The 'Ween what better song to have than this one by BabyMetal. We all know that when you say "Trick or Treat" you really mean "Gimme Chocolate".

Happy 'Ween to all you 'Weeners.

Thursday, 30 October 2014

Horror Block 2

"Night, Follows Me When You Leave"

A new Horror Block arrived this week so I filmed the unboxing of the box. You can watch the video and then look at the pictures of what I got. Warning! You get to hear Aishling in this video. I believe that she left out a lot of stuff pertaining to me just sitting there reading while she was telling me to hurry up. I am not like a child. You are!

"With The Sights, And The Sounds You'd Not Believe"


Crystal Lake Killer Shirt

As you can probably tell from the video I really love the shirt. I thought the Guardians of the Galaxy one I got last month was the best but nothing can beat Jason Voorhees. It even looks awesome with him silhouetted against the moon but his machete is shining. I'm afraid to wear this shirt now because I don't want it get ruined. But I will. It's too awesome not to be shown off.

Friday the 13th ReAction Jason Figure

Another item I was really excited about getting. I could have gotten Sam from Trick 'r Treat instead of Jason, which I would have loved but I think I much prefer this one since jason has always been my favourite killer.

The ReAction figures are minimalist retro designs. They may seem like there's not much too them but I think that just makes it better especially since a lot of the characters are from the 70s and 80s so they're similar to what you would have gotten back then. Also I was worried Jason didn't have his machete but it's taped to the side of the plastic. Whew!

I will be taking him out of the box once I get somewhere to put him. I'm not like those people who have a crap attack when they remove stuff from the packaging. Toys are meant to be taken out and enjoyed. How would you like to be stuck in a box for your whole life?

Wes Craven Fangoria Mag

As I said in the video I have never read a Fangoria mag before but I will be reading this one as it's a special Nightmare on Elm Street 30th anniversary edition containing interviews with Wes Craven and some actors and others involved with the film. There's more than that in the mag but that's half of the contents anyway.

 "So Into The Night, Into The Darkness"

Build Your Own Zombie

You can make your own undead monster to roam the land. You get the two pots of dough and combine them to make a crazy looking zombie. When I get the chance I will see what I can come up with. I'm not the most artistic so whatever I make will probably look like one of the old ugly walkers from Sex and the City. But probably not as dried up.

Cereal Killer Stickers

I was a little confused when I took this out first as I actually thought it was some kind of weird cereal. And then I was disappointed when I found out it wasn't cereal. But I still get some stickers.

When I opened the box and saw the foil I thought it was pop tarts too. How many times must I be fooled by non-breakfast foods? The puns are good though and I only got three duplicate stickers. Not too bad I suppose.

Puppet Master Blu-ray

This was unexpected. I never thought I would get a blu-ray in these Blocks. I do have the box set of Puppet Master on DVD but I don't mind getting anything on blu-ray so long as I don't have it on blu-ray already. And so long as it's not something shit like Transformers. I didn't realise that this blu-ray was region A and my player is a region B. But luckily it played when I tried it out so either my player is a multi region or the disc is a region B with the wrong packaging on it. Hopefully the player is multi region because then i can get many other blu-rays. Mainly those from Scream Factory.

Here are the contents of the Horror Block sans the t-shirt but with a skeleton foot.

"Until The Morn, Carrying On and On and On..."

There goes another unboxing. Thanks for watching and reading. And thanks to Aishling for being the disembodied hand touching my putty and editing the video and taking the photos.

Until next time you can read my previous blogs if you haven't already. And following this one will be the completion of the Month of Macabre. You might as well enjoy this 'Ween themed video from the mighty Devin Townsend Band. Not to be confused with Devin Townsend Project.

Monday, 27 October 2014

This Is Just Macabre

"Say Goodbye, You Know I've Tried..."


Welcome back. This will be Part 3 of the Month of Macabre list thing. I think we're coming into the section of stuff where I don't really know what I'll come up with for some of them. But sure we might as well get through it. Together we can do it.

There's the list to remind you of it. I think I'm at Number 20. I'll go as far as 25 or 26 for this blog and finish it all in my next. maybe I'll get the last one up on The 'Ween. Or sometime in November.

"But Now The Time To Mourn Has Died"

20: Most Badass Final Girl

Ellen Ripley from Aliens. Notice I said Aliens and not Alien. There are two reasons. 1) Aliens was the first film of the series I ever saw. It also involved me waking up at night when I was young and going into the sitting room while my parents were watching it and I decided to stay up and watch it too. Why did I always wake up when horror films were on? And what kind of parents did I have who would let a young child watch Aliens? Awesome parents I would say.
b) Ripley wasn't really a "badass" at the end of the first film. Sure it takes some badassery to survive while all your friends are being eaten by an alien but nothing beats carrying a child and a pulse rifle/ flamethrower combo while fending off an alien queen. And then getting into a power loader and fighting some more. If anything, Ripley is the greatest final person, male or female, in all of cinema.

Jonesy was the real star.

21: Favourite Director

No doubt it has to be John Carpenter. Or Takashi Miike. Or Guillermo del Toro.
John Carpenter for making some of the most enduring and entertaining films ever. And for being too far ahead of his time. Nobody cared about The Thing when it first came out but now it's considered one of the greatest horror films ever. He also created the slasher genre with Halloween. Made fog scary and made Kurt Russell an action hero in one film and an idiot in another.
Takashi Miike pushed the envelope with some of his films. There's things in his films that Hollywood would never dream of in their worst nightmares, let alone think of putting them in a film. He was very prolific. In one year he made about 14 films. If you want crazy films where you don't know what's going on then watch some of his. Start with Gozu. I believe that without him we wouldn't have the Japanese Super Gore (that's one of mine) films like Tokyo Gore Police or The Machine Girl. He was also the only director in the Masters of Horror series not to have his episode be shown on TV because it was "the most disturbing film" that the producer, also a horror director, had ever seen.
Guillermo del Toro is a genius. If you have ever seen Pan's Labyrinth then you know what I mean. If you've been keeping up with my blogs you already know how much I idolise him. I love every film he has made. He can do horror (The Devil's Backbone), action (Blade II), fantasy (Pan's Labyrinth) and combine all those genres and make Hellboy. Also, if you were ever a child you should love Pacific Rim.

This is the kind of stuff you can expect from miike.

22: Your Horror Collection

This is the best picture we have of my collection at the moment. Everything is pretty much stored away until we can get space to unleash it all. This is about half of my horror DVDs and I have plenty more toys and stuff, like my Captain Spaulding doll and Bert the zombie. I have numerous t-shirts from Fright Rags and other places. Someday in the near future I'll hopefully get to show them all off.

Everything is mine except the TARDIS just appeared one day.

"It's Cold Inside The Worm..."

23: Most Awesome One-Liner

"You OK?" - Tucker from Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil.
I can't say when or why he says this in case some of you haven't seen it but for those of you that have you will know why it's so good. And the way he says it makes it hilarious.

24: Favourite Cursed Object

I was having trouble trying to think of something for this, which is always the way when you try to sit down and think of something. But then Aishling told me to go with Hellraiser. Even though she hasn't seen it but I'm sure if you haven't seen the film you're still aware of the puzzle box. I haven't watched Hellraiser in a good while. The last time I did watch it I remember the effects were still really good. Apart from one part where they had to use CGI because they ran out of money which just proves that CGI is worthless. Unless it's done by Peter Jackson. But then his 20 year old practical zombie effects are still better than his 10 year old Lord of the Rings effects.

25: Do The Thriller Dance


26: Favourite Killer Robot

Technically, I would say Kruger from Elysium is a robot since he has special enhancements and an exoskeleton. But if you're gonna be pedantic about it then I'll go for the robots from Chopping Mall. Some teens get stuck in a shopping mall after hours and the robotic security malfunctions and three killer robots are set loose in the mall. How could you not want to see that?

It has the star power of that guy from Gremlins 1 and 2

"Nothing Ever Bothers Me Now"


Well that wasn't so bad. I did have plenty to talk about. The last few on the list should be harder for me to come up with something because torture porn films are the worst ever made and how the hell do you not come across as some kind of sexually frustrated horror nerd by choosing a cutest demon/possession? I'm sure I'll manage anyway. In the meantime enjoy this awesome Devin Townsend Project song. Try not to confuse it with Devin Townsend Band or even just Devin Townsend. The man never stops.


Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Nerd Block 2

"I Hope You Live To See The Day..."

My second Nerd Block arrived so I made a new video. There it is below followed by some pictures of what I got.

"When Your World Goes Up in Flames"

The T-Shirt

The shirt is pretty awesome. In the video I called them Blunt Man and Chronic but I think for the purposes of the shirt it's just Jay and Silent Bob dressed as some obscure characters. We'll probably never know. If you're wondering why I react the way I do about getting a new shirt it's because myself and Aishling decided to stop buying new ones because we already have so many. Some we haven't even gotten around to wearing yet. But in the last three Blocks I have gotten four new shirts. I won't complain because I like most of them.

Little Deadpool

Without his mask. If you don't know him, Deadpool is a Marvel comic character. If you saw Wolverine: Origins then you would have seen the bastardised version of him at the end of that film. According to the card that comes with the Block there were two different versions of Deadpool that could be gotten. There was the one I got, the grey coloured outfit, and there was his normal coloured outfit, the one shown on the Funko box. He will join our ever growing collection of Funko. Last week I actually got the Never Nude Tobias Funke for my birthday from a friend.

Coulson's Cards

You may know these from the Avengers film and they an important part in it. If you could hear me in the video I wondered out loud if they came with the blood stains on them. If you look at the photo on the left below you will see that it has "2 Complete Sets Of Cards".

And here are the two sets. They're both the same set of cards but one set has the blood stains on them. I like that you get both sets. Even though the quality of the cards aren't great they still went to the trouble to give you both.

They were in his locker.

"And As You Die You See My Face"

Arkham Patient Notes

When first looking at this I thought it was a little notebook that had some character information on the inmates of Arkham Asylum, which would have been cool, but it's still a pretty awesome little notebook and would come in handy if you needed post-it notes.

I, however, will probably never use it but I will put it with my other collection of things I have to show off. I could put it next to my Batman holding Joker over the side of a building statue.

The Dangler

A phone charm of Link from the Zelda games. Or you could hang him off other things if you like. I never played a Zelda game before so I'm not as excited about this as I could be. It is cool and he has freaky claw hands for some reason.

Stickers & Badges

This Nerd Block was called something like "Marvel vs D.C." or "Marvel D.C. VS" and it would seem that these badges are what they meant by it. It was the only thing in the box where both universes were together. And I like the stickers. I'm looking forward to Tusk. It should be crazy and have a good dose Kevin Smith's humour.

"You're the Only One to Blame"

Thank you for watching and reading. Feel free to comment and let me know what you liked or disliked.

Once again I would have liked to put a proper song in my video. But since I couldn't here is what it would have been. And yes, I have been listening to the new Slipknot album a lot recently.