tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62745216839106310152024-02-07T05:24:11.080+00:00Burn My EyesThis is my new blog where I will give my opinion on films and music, whether you want to hear (read) them or not. I hope you will enjoy reading my thoughts on the things I have seen or listened to and maybe you will give them a chance too. Unless they suck. Be warned: I tend to watch a lot of crappy horror films. But I only listen to awesome music.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-34278313778341156722016-01-16T18:00:00.000+00:002016-01-16T18:25:39.131+00:00I Live, I Die, I Live Again<h3>
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Coca Cola Lipstick Ring</span></i></h3>
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It may be a little late but here is my favourite films from 2015. Not all were released in 2015 but this is a list of films that I saw last year that were new to me. They will be in no particular order but I may keep my film of the year for the end along with my most hated film of the year. Unless I change my mind half way through writing this. Before we get started God has something to say:</div>
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<b><u>Frank</u></b></center>
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Frank is the story of a musician who meets up with more talented musicians who are friends with a genius who happens to wear a giant fake head. This is an incredibly fun and sad film. It's really well written and Michael Fassbender shows that you can still be a good actor without having to show your face. Sam Worthington should study this film. Or just go away. I'm for the latter.</center>
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<b><u>Big Eyes</u></b></center>
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I had forgotten that i saw Big Eyes until I was going through my list of films. That doesn't mean that it's a bad film. It's just that it was about a year age since I saw it. Tim Burton tells us the story of how a man takes credit for his wife's paintings and the court battle that ensues. It doesn't feel like a Tim Burton film because it doesn't have any of the fanastical sets that we have become accustomed to but you can see how these paintings has influenced his work so I believe he was the best man for the job.</center>
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I didn't know the full story before watching the film, only a few bits that i picked up reading synopsis' of the film and so I wasn't prepared for what really happened. It's one of those thing where you can't believe it happened. It's just too strange. But then rich people are fucked up anyway. Just like Batman. Steve Carell is totally different to how you remember him and even Tanning Chatum acts. But then he went and ruined it by doing garbage again.</center>
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Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu deservedly won the Oscar for Best Director for Birdman. It's done in one shot style with a few breaks but it looks great. And Michael Keaton proves that he is a very underrated actor because he is amazing as the actor famous for playing a superhero in the past and now trying to remain relevant. Do you suppose they knew the Batman connection? Weird.</center>
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Bad people kill Keanu Reeves' dog so he shoots everyone in the head, That's pretty much the plot of the film but it is an enjoyable action film. Simple and fun.</center>
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I honestly can't remember if I saw this the year before or not but it's worth putting here in case some of you have yet to see it. So go and watch it, What are you waiting for? Hairy baby!!</center>
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Some people didn't like Chappie but I loved it. I think Neil Blomkamp will find it hard to top District 9 but I'm happy for him to do whatever he likes. Especially if that next thing will be an Alien film. As for Chappie, it's about a police enforcement robot who gets a special AI and he becomes self-aware and is like a real boy as he taught how to be a gangster. It's "gangsta" Pinocchio crossed with Robocop. And the Robocop reference doesn't end there... *wink wink*</center>
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This is the story of Stephen Hawking as told from the perspective of his ex-wife. It is a great film about Stephen Hawking's life dealing with his disease but I find it lacks something and I think that is from being from someone else's point of view rather than Stephen Hawking's. But Eddie Redmayne is perfect in the role.</center>
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<b><u>Interstellar</u></b></center>
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I didn't get to see Interstellar in the cinema and I wish I had because it must have looked awesome on the big screen. Yet this didn't stop people complaining about it. I had heard bad things about it before watching it and I have to say I don't know what those idiots were talking about. It is a long film and can be quite confusing at times but that still doesn't take away from how good it is. I think these people are from this new breed where they have to shit on films or directors who are getting too famous. It's happened to Wes Anderson too. Bunch of benders these fuckers are.</center>
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<b><u>Nightcrawler</u></b></center>
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Nightcrawler is a strange film. Jake Gyllenhaal starts filming night time crime scenes and accidents. All while letting his bug eyes creep you out. But that's not the strange part. It's the fact that unlike most films there is no real character development. In, let's say, Chronicle, the whiney loser at the start develops into a whiney loser by the end but with powers. In this, Jake Gyllenhaal is the same weirdo he was at the start. No powers or anything.</center>
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I wasn't a big fan of Rush. It's an OK biopic about the rivalry between James Hunt and Niki Lauda. The problem is that the film made it out that they both hated each other when in fact they were kind of good friends and respected each other. It did make me realise just how bad Ron Howard is as a director. You're better off watching a real documentary.</center>
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<b><u>Paddington</u></b></center>
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Paddington is a glorious film about the marmalade loving Peruvian bear. We watched it around summertime but it is more of a Christmas film. So we watched it again on Christmas day. Everone should like this film. Young or old. If you don't then you can stick with your Fast & Furious vroom-vroom films.</center>
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I really liked Age of Ultron but I didn't love it. It wasn't as good as the first Avengers film but this does have James Spader as a big talking robot. I think the expectation was too high for it especially following The Winter Soldier. Plus there was interference from the studio and you should just let certain directors do what they want.</center>
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<b><u>Edge of Tomorrow</u></b></center>
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If you know me then you know how much I hated Tom Cruise. I wouldn't watch any of his films because I didn't like him. He's always the smiling tiny hero. But I watched Edge of Tomorrow for some reason and I really liked it. I think because Cruise is just a smiling tiny asshole in this. It's like how I hated Colin Farrell until I saw Seven Psychopaths.</center>
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"You're gonna need a bigger park." Or a better one. Is it just me or are kids more annoying in films now? The original is awesome and I remember seeing it in the cinema and even now it's still a masterpiece. I also went to see it in Imax on the 20th anniversary. Jeff Goldbum bod in 3D. But this sequel didn't do anything for me. All I did while watching it was point out all the stupid things the characters were doing and how much I wanted those kids to be eaten. I will say that it was a little better the second time around. Maybe because I got all the complaints out of me the first time.</center>
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<b><u>Kingsman: The Secret Service</u></b></center>
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What a blast this film was. If you want a good spy/action film then go with this. Aishling, unlike many other wimmins who were all "Oh Mr. Darcy, who's taking the horse to France? teeheehee", never liked Colin Firth in that way until she saw him beat up a bunch of chavs. And Samuel L. Jackson has fun being the megalomanical bad guy. Once you get to the church scene this should become one of your favourite films.</center>
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<b><u>Legend</u></b></center>
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What's better than one Tom Hardy? Two Tom Hardys. And better than that is two Tom Hardys as psychotic gangsters. And according to Aishling having them topless would be even better again. Legend is a fantastic film about the story of the Kray twins. I read a review where the reviewer said that Tom Hardy's acting was poor in this. That reviewer is an imbecile. I don't think it's actually possible for Tom Hardy to act badly. And i think that's more than enough times to write "Tom Hardy" in a paragraph.</center>
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When we came out of Legend we decided to go straight into Straight Outta Compton. Two biopics in one day. If you don't already know, Straight Outta Compton is the story of the formation and eventual break up of NWA. It's at times funny and sad while also scary as to what some of the members went through even before and after they became famous. It glosses over some of the members contributions but it's still worth a watch. And as like most musical biopics it will give you a new appreciation for the music.</center>
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I was debating whether to put this in because it's just another Bond film. Same shit, different baddie. It's good at times but ultimately it's the same story. It begins with action that makes you think that it could be good but then the terrible Bond song and credits come on and it's same old same old. Ah here comes the sexism. But wait, The bad guy is actually really good. This could be interesting. No. Sexism again, More sexism. Sexist Bond comment. Sexism. The bad guy is back. Yes! Nope. He's just become a mindless idiot who just wants to kill Bond. What happened to his evil genius brain? Shouldn't he think this out instead of shooting everything? He's dead. Bond. James Bond. Banal remark. Sexism. Sequel.</center>
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Take the first two films. Freeze them. Hasta la vista, baby the shite out of them and walk away to let them melt and form together. Sounds good, doesn't it? But instead someone came along and decided to write a script from memory and what we got was this film. It's by no means a terrible film but it is a typical Hollywood action film with an old terminator. And we've seen most of it before and done better and without Jai Courtney.</center>
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<b><u>Crimson Peak</u></b></center>
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Guillermo del Toro should be allowed make what he wants. I keep saying that but nobody bothers listening to me. Don't come into this, like most people did, expecting a straight up horror film with jump scares or gore like the Saws or Insidiousssss. Insidii? This is a romantic gothic ghost story. The film even tells you so within the first 10 minutes. Del Toro made a gorgeous looking film just like the ones that influenced him. Shot on actual sets and not in front of green screens. If you can appreciate true art then this is for you because you get to see Tom Hiddleston's butt.</center>
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This is a psychological sci-fi thriller about a girl who is being controlled by little creatures inside her head. Actually, Google says it's an animated comedy-drama adventure film. That's not what i thought while watching it. But it is excellent. just don't bring up Bing Bong. Shit!</center>
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I'm putting this in here because if you haven't seen it you need to. It's insane. I still don't understand it. It's something about a man with the brain of a child going on a road trip across America to recover his bicycle and he meets many strange characters. I guess it's kind of a modern retelling of Jack Kerouac's On The Road.</center>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">That was the list of some of the new films I saw last year. I still have my film of the year to go but before then I have my most hated films. There are two of them so here they are.</span></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">Why? Why did this need to be made? The original is the single greatest film ever made. The remake contains nothing of what made the original so great. The title is the only thing that links these two films. Where the original had the underlying Jesus resurrection thing this one has Robot Cop shooting other robots with stun bullet things. And the last shoot out is in the dark. What is the point of that? I wouldn't buy this shit for a dollar. And what the fuck is with the hand?</span></center>
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<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">We watched this remake pretty much straight after watching the original so there was o way we couldn't compare the two. And I will tell you that the original is infinitely better than this. When the remake was announced I was against it because as we all know remakes are shit. But then it came out that Sam Rockwell was gonna be in it so i thought maybe it will be passable. But no. Sam Rockwell doesn't even try. The best example I can give of how different the two films are is when the kid gets taken to the other side. In the original Craig T. Nelson, after a few days, looks like he hasn't slept or washed. You can tell he's having a bad time of it. But in the remake Sam Rockwell looks like he just stepped out of his trailer and is thinking about his next roll. Avoid this one. Or don't. I'm not your mom.</span></center>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">So now we come to my film of the year. And if you haven't guessed what it is yet then you won't rise from the ashes of this world.</span></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><u>Mad Max: Fury Road</u></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">I saw Fury Road five times in three different counties in a month. That's how much i loved it. It's such a simple story but with amazing looking stunts and some of the best characters outside of a Roald Dahl book. Even if they don't have much to say. Even the fringe characters are some of the best and original. You need only look as far as Doof Warrior to see how imaginative this film is.</span></center>
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<span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">You get 45 minutes of non-stop action through a desert and then after a 10 minute break you get another 45 minutes of non-stop action through the desert in the opposite direction. It's such a simple idea but where other action films throw in a love story or some kind of bullshit just to try be emotional and connect with the viewer, Fury Road says "fuck that, here's another crazy stunt instead". Perfection.</span></center>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Shiny and Chrome</i></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">So there you have it. My films of 2015. This year is starting off good too. I have The Hateful Eight and The Revenant to see and then there's the comic book blockbusters in the summer. Some people may be against those films but fuck 'em. I'm looking forward to them. I do hope Batman vs. Superman ends up being better than it currently looks in trailers. And Civil War may be the Civil Rights film of our time.</span></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Comment below if you have any comments or comment type things to say about my films or the films you watched. But keep it fresh.</span></span></center>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">We started with God and now we end with Alien God.</span></span></center>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-36567011637186355592015-11-23T22:38:00.000+00:002015-11-23T22:38:25.315+00:00Music It Will Set You Free<h2>
Music My Saviour</h2>
It has been a long time. I have been busy working so I never got the chance to write a new blog in a while. But I have been thinking about writing this one for a while now. I think it came to me while I was being subjected to the worst radio station anyone could hope to never want to listen to. It was the same playlist every hour. I swear you would hear the same songs at least five times a day. And get to hear it all again the next day. Luckily we were allowed to listen to our own iPods or phones (how much music can you fit on a phone? I've been through this before) or any music box you might have.<br />
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Play this Playlist as you read:</h3>
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It was this juxtaposition of my own awesome music compared to the drivel on the radio that gave me the idea to write this blog about music in general. Now I know everyone has different tastes in music and not everyone can be as enlightened as me but since this is my blog I can write what I want. If you don't like it then you can write your own blog and I won't read it.<br />
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I came up with some very insightful stuff and amazing analogies to describe music but I forgot to write them down because I thought my enormous brain could store it all but I think it's all gone now. Oh well. If it comes back to me I'll put it in here.<br />
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I believe that music can make you feel something. Shit music can make you feel hatred or pity towards the people "singing" it. But REAL music by actual talented artists can make you feel something more within than without. Does that make sense?<br />
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One of the things I love to do is to walk through town listening to Amon Amarth. I am alone and an outsider to the people in town but I don't feel alone because I am in my own world. It's the best place to be. To some, music is an outlet or it has helped them through hard times. While I have never really had a hard time to get through I have found that certain music by certain bands have made me feel... INVINCIBLE.<br />
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Walking through town listening to Amon Amarth I feel this way. Songs about Vikings and their battles makes me feel like one of them. I have no problem singing along as I walk and to hell with anyone who notices. They can't stop me. Lamb of God do it for me too. I think it's because of the emotion and aggression that their songs exude. Take their song "Overlord" for example, You would never think it was Randy Blythe singing but it just shows the talent the man has. After years of growling vocals he comes out with some clean singing. This also gives the heaviness, that the song veers into, even more impact.<br />
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But metal doesn't always need to be aggressive. It can be fun. It can have a groove to make you move. Check out "Bricks and Mortar" by Cancer Bats. A song that also has the message to save the record stores. But I guess they've never tried looking for anything decent in a record shop in Ireland. It's no wonder HMV went under. The fucking shit they sell. And they have fun with their videos. "Sabotage" for example has the band looking for The Beastie Boys to be in their video.<br />
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Music doesn't have to be serious either. There are so many different genres of metal and they all have their own style which makes it easy to take the piss out of them. Evil Scarecrow are a metal band but they write songs about robots, mutant crabs and going crazy in space. If a pop act tried to satirize metal they would get their ass handed to them. But because Evil Scarecrow are a metal band formed by metal fans they can get away with it and we respect that and we're all in on the joke because it's our lifestyle to make fun of.<br />
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Red Fang have some of the best videos. "Prehistoric Dog" is one of my favourite songs and videos from them. And in "Wires" they just drive their car into a bunch of stuff. We are serious about our music but we know how to have fun with it too.<br />
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"Darkness Within" by Machine Head is a love song. Not a typical "I miss you and I think you left our love child in my heart" kind of love song. But a love song to music itself. You may lose your faith in a god but music will always be there for you.<br />
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<b>"<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Because god is in these clef and tone</span></b><br />
<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Salvation is found alone</span></b><br />
<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Haunted by its melody</span></b><br />
<b><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Music it will set you free"</span></b><br />
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It's all these feelings that music gives us that has made it one of the most shared and argued about forms of art. I do respect other people's taste in music. I mean, I probably would never have listened to Tom Waits if it wasn't for Aishling. But then she may never have gone on a musical journey with Mastodon if it wasn't for me. And this is what music is about. Showing people that there are more forms of this art out there. Giving people another way to feel things. It may not be the same as what we feel but then that is what makes us individuals.<br />
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I will not, however, acknowledge pop music as an art form. Some may argue that some acts are real "artists" but that's your retarded view to live with. Pop music is just like McDonalds. It's mass produced with nothing of value in it just to be consumed and shit out ready for the next sad excuse of a meal. There's no point in arguing that with me because I am too stubborn to listen. Plus, it's just scientific fact.<br />
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If you listened to the playlist I left at the top, and if you read slow enough, then you should be onto Down as I finish this now. I decided to end on Down because out of all the bands I love and listen to only Down has ever made me feel something no other band has been able to do. Or not made me feel. Whenever I am upset, angry, annoyed or whatever, I can listen to Down and I always feel better. I find it impossible to be sad when listening to them. I guess they centre me. Don't ask me why but that's how it is.<br />
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I like to ask people that if they could only ever listen to one song for the rest of their lives what would it be? No matter what music you heard anywhere, in a shop, on a radio, you would only ever hear that one song. Stone the Crow by Down is mine. If you want you can comment what yours would be. Maybe you will introduce me to new music in the way that I may have done for you.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Come on. Leave a comment"</td></tr>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-56076705602911301122014-12-18T23:19:00.000+00:002014-12-18T23:19:03.328+00:00Abandon Hope, Ye Who Watch X-Factor<h3>
Albums Of The Year:<br /><b>The Metal Edition:</b><b><br /></b><b>The Only Edition That Matters</b></h3>
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Considering it is halfway through December now I have decided to do my Best Albums of the Year list because I expect I will be in a food coma in the coming weeks.<br />
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This won't be a top whatever countdown, it's just some of the albums I have enjoyed this year. There may or may not be a film version of this. It would depend on whether I can remember what films I've seen. But I may leave that until into the new year because I still got time to watch films. Plus I still have to see the conclusion to The Hobbit and I will not see it in 3D after the utterly terrible looking Desolation of Smaug last year. Has everyone now realised how awful 3D is? Captain America was the final straw. And I had to see that in 3D because I wouldn't have been able to continue watching Agents of SHIELD otherwise. If you're still paying to see films in 3D then it is all your fault that it hasn't died out. And I might as well blame you people for all the shitty CGI. Get control of your life for fuck sake.<br />
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<b><u>Behemoth - The Satanist</u></b><br />
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Where better to start than with the Satanic blackened death metal band Behemoth. This is their follow up the the awesome Evangelion and the comeback album after their singer/leader Nergal's battle with leukemia. The video above is the song Pro Ora Nobis Lucifer, "Pray For Us Lucifer", a sentiment I think we can all get behind. As you can hear in the video (also try the title track), Behemoth stand out from the black metal and death metal bands by having a heavy groove to their sound.</div>
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The thing with BabyMetal is you either like it or you don't. For the enlightened among us we really love it. How can you not like a song about chocolate? It may be sung in the J-Pop style but the music is heavy and it all just works. Some may say it works better than Symphonic Metal but those people would just be Aishling. The song above isn't as catchy as Headbanger!! or Gimme Choko!! and it does have an electronica sound in it which really only Rammstein can get away with but the reason I'm putting it up is for the breakdown in it. After the little rap part (which I don't have a problem with probably due to my time with Nu Metal) there is a humongous breakdown that <strike>most</strike> all metalcore bands wish they could dream of.</div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">When members of four different awesome metal bands come together you expect great things. But when Max Cavalera of Soulfly, Troy Sanders of Mastodon, Greg Puciato of Dillinger Escape Plan and Dave Elitch from The Mars Volta you get a kickass album. All three vocalists bring their own distinctive voices to the songs. They even take turns singing the melodic parts but as you would expect Greg is the most melodic as you can hear in this song. At first I did find it too poppy sounding but with more listens comes a greater appreciation of it and it adds to the song itself. For a melodic Troy listen to Melting Of My Marrow. Also, how many riffs does Max Cavalera have in him? He has written over 20 albums.</span><br />
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I think I've said before that Down achieve more in an EP than what most bands can do in a full length album. Down continued with their plan of releasing an EP instead of an album which is a great idea considering they usually take five years to release an album. But Part II came out within two years of their last EP. With any luck we'll get more Southern Doom in the near future. This EP is the first release not to feature Kirk Windstein who sadly left the band. Not to worry, as this is still Down down to the core. Everything that makes Down who they are is here. The groovy riffs, the heavy drumming and of course Phil. Plus there is a very Sabbath influenced song in Conjure. Fucking A.</center>
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Kirk Windstein left Down to focus on his original band, Crowbar. I can forgive him because Crowbar are awesome. You know when the T-Rex walks in Jurassic Park and the water ripples? The same thing happens when you play a Crowbar song. These are riffs that only get better the louder you play them. This isn't for your sensitive ears. If you can't handle the heaviness/loudness then go join the people in the Ed Sheeran wanker brigade.</center>
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So, a strange thing happened earlier this year. Angela Gossow announced her departure from Arch Enemy to focus on the managerial side of the band and just as quickly as she had left Alissa White-Gluz from The Agonist had taken her place. The album is a return to form. I had felt they became very stagnant with their previous two albums but with Alissa coming in they seem to be reinvigorated. She doesn't use her melodic singing voice on the album but I hope that she does on the follow up. To hear what she sounds like check out Thank You, Pain by The Agonist. But make sure you listen to the version with Alissa because they also got a new vocalist and re-recorded that song.</center>
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Mastodon released one of the best albums of the year. Of any genre. Unfortunately they don't get any recognition because they don't have wimmins shaking their asses in their videos... Oh wait... Nevermind. But they still are overlooked. Once More 'Round The Sun is less riff-heavy as their previous albums but their song writing makes up for it. Like The Hunter before it it takes a little longer to get into but listen to the album a few times and it will gradually unlock your ears to the magnificence of Mastodon. Almost every time I listen to it I end up with a new favourite track. Also, I met Brent. I now know what people feel when they find Jesus in toast.</center>
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Orange Goblin released my favourite album of 2012, A Eulogy for the Damned. And in those last two years I saw them live twice. They were amazing. They followed that up with Back From The Abyss. This album I had on repeat for a long time. It broke my Mastodon listening cycle. Whereas Eulogy sounded like it could be the soundtrack to a horror film this one sounds more like a Grindhouse soundtrack. The opening track, Sabbath Hex (so-called because if you don't like Black Sabbath you should be cursed), is a good indicator as to how the rest of the album plays out. Fast and in your face. And The Devils Whip is pure Motorhead fanboyism. My favourite track is Heavy Lies The Crown. Probably because it's a song for/about Vikings.</div>
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Slipknot finally returned this year! And they returned minus two members but with another kickass album. When they released The Negative One a while back it reminded me of Iowa era Slipknot. It had the heaviness, the aggression and, most importantly, the record scratching. They followed that up with the above video and I wasn't loving it much at first but it plants a seed in your head. One that grows and tells you there's more to see in the video and that makes you listen to the song again and it grows more and you listen some more. And some more. And then you realise that yes, that IS a keg hit or two you heard in there. And finally the plant grows out of your brain and you love it. That analogy sucked. The album itself opens with a very sombre track that, if you know what happened, is very emotional for that reason. But after that track the band bring the heaviness. There are a few mellowish songs which I don't have a problem with because Corey Taylor can show off his range any way he wants and it's always good. Even when singing the Spongebob theme.</center>
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The best way to round out the year is with a new Machine Head album. Orange Goblin stopped me listening to Mastodon. Slipknot stopped me listening to Orange Goblin. And Machine Head stopped me listening to everything. I had this album on a constant repeat for two weeks after it came out. In the first weekend I must have listened to it over ten times. It is that good. Since Through The Ashes Of Empires Machine Head have become an unstoppable force of metal. Listen to it and The Blackening back to back and you may come out of it alive. If you're lucky you will become a devout Headcase. I guess I'm one since I named my blog after their first album.</div>
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You couldn't ask for a better opener than Now We Die. It's heavy, melodic and has a string section in there. I've read some comments about people saying they hated the song after hearing the chorus. God forbid a band would add violins to a song. If you're scared of something new then stick to your deathcore bands. They'll never do anything new or shocking. Anyway, you should listen to this album. There's a song on there, I can't remember which one, maybe Game Over, it reminds me of Supercharger (the album that nearly destroyed the band) but that album is much better than people say. It unfairly gets a bad rap. Also, in Game Over, when you realise that the person's grave he will piss on is their former bassist the song becomes a bit angrier. Give the album a go and if it's not for you then try AC/DC. You can listen to their whole back catalogue in one song.</div>
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Black Steel And Iron</h3>
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There are some other albums that came out this year that I haven't properly listened to so I didn't include them and others that I just never got round to getting or listening to. Some of these are:<br />
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Opeth - Pale Communion</div>
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Electric Wizard - Time To Die</div>
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At The Gates - At War With Reality</div>
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Devin Townsend - Z2</div>
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Judas Priest - Redeemer Of Souls</div>
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Triptykon - Melana Chasmata</div>
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If any of you have listened to any good albums this year then let me know in the comments so as I can check them out.</div>
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I'll leave you with this Goatwhore video. A band I discovered from watching <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdoAu1uCjE-h2SJc4nSohHfjWq-tMvHo8" target="_blank">NOLA: Life, Death, & Heavy Blues from the Bayou</a>. A series of documentary videos that you need to watch. Enjoy.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-35029942644400192152014-10-31T16:41:00.000+00:002014-10-31T16:41:44.017+00:00It's Over. For Now...<h3>
"Atatata Taata Taatatata Zukkyun!"</h3>
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It's the end of October and for The 'Ween I have the last part of the Month of Macabre. Number 27 to 31. Here are parts <a href="http://burnedmyeyes.blogspot.ie/2014/10/its-alive.html" target="_blank">One</a>, <a href="http://burnedmyeyes.blogspot.ie/2014/10/its-pronounced-ma-cab-ree.html" target="_blank">Two</a> and <a href="http://burnedmyeyes.blogspot.ie/2014/10/say-goodbye-you-know-ive-tried.html" target="_blank">Three</a> in case you haven't read them or want to remember what came before. And here is the list one last time.<br />
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"Wadadada Daada Daadadada Dokkyun"</h3>
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<u><b>27: Scariest Monster</b></u><br />
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Since I don't find any monsters scary nowadays because monsters in horror films now are either stupid looking or the person holding the camera can't stop shaking it and you just wish they'd shut up and get eaten by the monster. How about you get a tripod and sit the camera on it so we can get a good five second look at the monster instead of a total of ten shaky seconds looking at parts of a creature?<br />
Anyway, I will go for any of the monsters from John Carpenter's The Thing. They are all unique and like any practical effects from the 80s they still look good today. Imagine, The Thing is 32 years old now. The effects and Kurt Russell still look badass after all those years.<br />
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<u><b>28: Spookiest Haunted House</b></u><br />
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The house from House on Haunted Hill. Vincent Price's house, not Geoffrey Rush's. People are invited to spend the night in the house and if they can stay the whole night they will be given money. But the house is supposedly haunted and strange goings-on... go on and some people are murdered. Like in all his films, Vincent Price gives an astounding performance. He comes to act and doesn't let up. Maybe some people these days should learn from him. If you think your film is crap then try make it good yourself rather than bitching about it afterwards. Ungrateful pricks.<br />
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<strike><u><b>29: Sickest Torture Porn</b></u></strike><br />
<u><b>29: Best Foreign Horror Film</b></u><br />
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I was thinking of picking Ringu for this one but then thought that if anyone needs to be told that it's superior to the shitty remake then they need to just drown themselves in a well.<br />
My choice will be R-Point. It's a South Korean film about a squad sent to rescue a missing platoon in Vietnam after receiving an S.O.S transmission. I first saw the film at an Asian film festival over a weekend in Dublin with my brother. I think this was the first film shown and while the other five films were great this was by far the best. I found the film to be quite nerve-racking. It was a long time before and since that I felt that way watching a film.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An awful lot of Deadpool comes up when you search R-Point images.</td></tr>
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"Zukyun! Dokyun! Zukyun! Dokyun!"</h3>
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<u><b>30: Cutest Demon/Possession</b></u><br />
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What a stupid question this is. Am I supposed to be attracted to the demon or what? I'm gonna think outside the box with this one and go with the demonic cat from Hausu. Is a cat cute enough for you? It's kind of hard to describe Hausu. Some girls go to one of their aunt's house and weird things happen that you need to see. Do so as soon as possible. You will not regret it. And if you do then you can stick to Transformers. That might be more tailored to your mental age.<br />
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<u><b>31: Best Halloween Party Scene</b></u><br />
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I'm going with a classic for this one. It's a short film but at the end there's an awesome party scene with all your favourite monster characters. I don't think it was a Halloween party but since it's my film I'm changing it for the purposes of this.<br />
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This brings the Month of Macabre to an end. Or does it? It does...? It's not like a horror film, it will be over. Or will it?<br />
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Since today is The 'Ween what better song to have than this one by BabyMetal. We all know that when you say "Trick or Treat" you really mean "Gimme Chocolate".<br />
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Happy 'Ween to all you 'Weeners.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-41123861350869186222014-10-30T21:36:00.000+00:002014-10-30T21:36:24.341+00:00Horror Block 2<h3>
"Night, Follows Me When You Leave"</h3>
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A new Horror Block arrived this week so I filmed the unboxing of the box. You can watch the video and then look at the pictures of what I got. Warning! You get to hear Aishling in this video. I believe that she left out a lot of stuff pertaining to me just sitting there reading while she was telling me to hurry up. I am not like a child. You are!<br />
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<b><u>Crystal Lake Killer Shirt</u></b><br />
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As you can probably tell from the video I really love the shirt. I thought the Guardians of the Galaxy one I got last month was the best but nothing can beat Jason Voorhees. It even looks awesome with him silhouetted against the moon but his machete is shining. I'm afraid to wear this shirt now because I don't want it get ruined. But I will. It's too awesome not to be shown off.<br />
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<u><b>Friday the 13th ReAction Jason Figure</b></u></div>
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Another item I was really excited about getting. I could have gotten Sam from Trick 'r Treat instead of Jason, which I would have loved but I think I much prefer this one since jason has always been my favourite killer.</div>
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The ReAction figures are minimalist retro designs. They may seem like there's not much too them but I think that just makes it better especially since a lot of the characters are from the 70s and 80s so they're similar to what you would have gotten back then. Also I was worried Jason didn't have his machete but it's taped to the side of the plastic. Whew!<br />
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I will be taking him out of the box once I get somewhere to put him. I'm not like those people who have a crap attack when they remove stuff from the packaging. Toys are meant to be taken out and enjoyed. How would you like to be stuck in a box for your whole life?<br />
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<u><b>Wes Craven Fangoria Mag</b></u></div>
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As I said in the video I have never read a Fangoria mag before but I will be reading this one as it's a special Nightmare on Elm Street 30th anniversary edition containing interviews with Wes Craven and some actors and others involved with the film. There's more than that in the mag but that's half of the contents anyway.</div>
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"So Into The Night, Into The Darkness"</h3>
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<u><b>Build Your Own Zombie</b></u></div>
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You can make your own undead monster to roam the land. You get the two pots of dough and combine them to make a crazy looking zombie. When I get the chance I will see what I can come up with. I'm not the most artistic so whatever I make will probably look like one of the old ugly walkers from Sex and the City. But probably not as dried up. </div>
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<u><b>Cereal Killer Stickers</b></u></div>
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I was a little confused when I took this out first as I actually thought it was some kind of weird cereal. And then I was disappointed when I found out it wasn't cereal. But I still get some stickers.</div>
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When I opened the box and saw the foil I thought it was pop tarts too. How many times must I be fooled by non-breakfast foods? The puns are good though and I only got three duplicate stickers. Not too bad I suppose.</div>
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<u><b>Puppet Master Blu-ray</b></u></div>
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This was unexpected. I never thought I would get a blu-ray in these Blocks. I do have the box set of Puppet Master on DVD but I don't mind getting anything on blu-ray so long as I don't have it on blu-ray already. And so long as it's not something shit like Transformers. I didn't realise that this blu-ray was region A and my player is a region B. But luckily it played when I tried it out so either my player is a multi region or the disc is a region B with the wrong packaging on it. Hopefully the player is multi region because then i can get many other blu-rays. Mainly those from <a href="https://www.shoutfactory.com/tentpoles/scream-factory" target="_blank">Scream Factory.</a></div>
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Here are the contents of the Horror Block sans the t-shirt but with a skeleton foot.</div>
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"Until The Morn, Carrying On and On and On..."</h3>
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There goes another unboxing. Thanks for watching and reading. And thanks to Aishling for being the disembodied hand touching my putty and editing the video and taking the photos.</div>
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Until next time you can read my previous blogs if you haven't already. And following this one will be the completion of the Month of Macabre. You might as well enjoy this 'Ween themed video from the mighty Devin Townsend Band. Not to be confused with Devin Townsend Project.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-12091730035599696242014-10-27T15:57:00.000+00:002014-10-27T16:12:06.047+00:00This Is Just Macabre<h3>
"Say Goodbye, You Know I've Tried..."</h3>
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Welcome back. This will be Part 3 of the Month of Macabre list thing. I think we're coming into the section of stuff where I don't really know what I'll come up with for some of them. But sure we might as well get through it. Together we can do it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-9z9WUTBMQcuHCiszQGPlUjtSaiRU3kEoZyizsfMADLVJxi7c4HWcK_lJEC8T5-Y0Yvytj8pDZznzok7eu5P_zegj02EtlVM4hlvDjaIJLt4V7TrcMmgltp235ZqYd19YgmquLnRe3QX0/s1600/IMG_9861.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-9z9WUTBMQcuHCiszQGPlUjtSaiRU3kEoZyizsfMADLVJxi7c4HWcK_lJEC8T5-Y0Yvytj8pDZznzok7eu5P_zegj02EtlVM4hlvDjaIJLt4V7TrcMmgltp235ZqYd19YgmquLnRe3QX0/s1600/IMG_9861.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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There's the list to remind you of it. I think I'm at Number 20. I'll go as far as 25 or 26 for this blog and finish it all in my next. maybe I'll get the last one up on The 'Ween. Or sometime in November.<br />
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"But Now The Time To Mourn Has Died" </h3>
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<u><b>20: </b><b>Most Badass Final Girl</b></u><br />
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Ellen Ripley from Aliens. Notice I said Aliens and not Alien. There are two reasons. 1) Aliens was the first film of the series I ever saw. It also involved me waking up at night when I was young and going into the sitting room while my parents were watching it and I decided to stay up and watch it too. Why did I always wake up when horror films were on? And what kind of parents did I have who would let a young child watch Aliens? Awesome parents I would say.<br />
b) Ripley wasn't really a "badass" at the end of the first film. Sure it takes some badassery to survive while all your friends are being eaten by an alien but nothing beats carrying a child and a pulse rifle/ flamethrower combo while fending off an alien queen. And then getting into a power loader and fighting some more. If anything, Ripley is the greatest final person, male or female, in all of cinema.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jonesy was the real star.</td></tr>
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<u><b>21: Favourite Director</b></u><br />
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No doubt it has to be John Carpenter. Or Takashi Miike. Or Guillermo del Toro.<br />
John Carpenter for making some of the most enduring and entertaining films ever. And for being too far ahead of his time. Nobody cared about The Thing when it first came out but now it's considered one of the greatest horror films ever. He also created the slasher genre with Halloween. Made fog scary and made Kurt Russell an action hero in one film and an idiot in another.<br />
Takashi Miike pushed the envelope with some of his films. There's things in his films that Hollywood would never dream of in their worst nightmares, let alone think of putting them in a film. He was very prolific. In one year he made about 14 films. If you want crazy films where you don't know what's going on then watch some of his. Start with Gozu. I believe that without him we wouldn't have the Japanese Super Gore (that's one of mine) films like Tokyo Gore Police or The Machine Girl. He was also the only director in the Masters of Horror series not to have his episode be shown on TV because it was "the most disturbing film" that the producer, also a horror director, had ever seen.<br />
Guillermo del Toro is a genius. If you have ever seen Pan's Labyrinth then you know what I mean. If you've been keeping up with my blogs you already know how much I idolise him. I love every film he has made. He can do horror (The Devil's Backbone), action (Blade II), fantasy (Pan's Labyrinth) and combine all those genres and make Hellboy. Also, if you were ever a child you should love Pacific Rim.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the kind of stuff you can expect from miike.</td></tr>
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<u><b>22: Your Horror Collection</b></u><br />
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This is the best picture we have of my collection at the moment. Everything is pretty much stored away until we can get space to unleash it all. This is about half of my horror DVDs and I have plenty more toys and stuff, like my Captain Spaulding doll and Bert the zombie. I have numerous t-shirts from <a href="http://www.fright-rags.com/" target="_blank">Fright Rags</a> and other places. Someday in the near future I'll hopefully get to show them all off.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Everything is mine except the TARDIS just appeared one day.</td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-weight: normal;"><b>"It's Cold Inside The Worm..."</b></span></b></h3>
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<u><b>23: Most Awesome One-Liner</b></u><br />
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"You OK?" - Tucker from Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil.<br />
I can't say when or why he says this in case some of you haven't seen it but for those of you that have you will know why it's so good. And the way he says it makes it hilarious.<br />
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<a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/787e97c93fc584b95b650b8ec45f88bf/tumblr_mglczv3gi91qcf707o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://31.media.tumblr.com/787e97c93fc584b95b650b8ec45f88bf/tumblr_mglczv3gi91qcf707o1_500.gif" height="270" width="640" /></a></div>
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<u><b>24: Favourite Cursed Object</b></u><br />
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I was having trouble trying to think of something for this, which is always the way when you try to sit down and think of something. But then Aishling told me to go with Hellraiser. Even though she hasn't seen it but I'm sure if you haven't seen the film you're still aware of the puzzle box. I haven't watched Hellraiser in a good while. The last time I did watch it I remember the effects were still really good. Apart from one part where they had to use CGI because they ran out of money which just proves that CGI is worthless. Unless it's done by Peter Jackson. But then his 20 year old practical zombie effects are still better than his 10 year old Lord of the Rings effects.<br />
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<u><b>25: Do The Thriller Dance</b></u><br />
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No.<br />
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<u><b>26: Favourite Killer Robot</b></u><br />
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Technically, I would say Kruger from Elysium is a robot since he has special enhancements and an exoskeleton. But if you're gonna be pedantic about it then I'll go for the robots from Chopping Mall. Some teens get stuck in a shopping mall after hours and the robotic security malfunctions and three killer robots are set loose in the mall. How could you not want to see that?<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://braindeadradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/chopping-mall-1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://braindeadradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/chopping-mall-1.gif" height="480" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It has the star power of that guy from Gremlins 1 <i>and</i> 2</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<h3>
"Nothing Ever Bothers Me Now"</h3>
<h3>
</h3>
Well that wasn't so bad. I did have plenty to talk about. The last few on the list should be harder for me to come up with something because torture porn films are the worst ever made and how the hell do you not come across as some kind of sexually frustrated horror nerd by choosing a cutest demon/possession? I'm sure I'll manage anyway. In the meantime enjoy this awesome Devin Townsend Project song. Try not to confuse it with Devin Townsend Band or even just Devin Townsend. The man never stops.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-48742719210585317272014-10-21T13:13:00.000+01:002014-10-23T20:56:04.999+01:00Nerd Block 2<h3>
"I Hope You Live To See The Day..." </h3>
<br />
My second Nerd Block arrived so I made a new video. There it is below followed by some pictures of what I got.<br />
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<h3>
"When Your World Goes Up in Flames"</h3>
<br />
<u><b>The T-Shirt</b></u><br />
<br />
The shirt is pretty awesome. In the video I called them Blunt Man and Chronic but I think for the purposes of the shirt it's just Jay and Silent Bob dressed as some obscure characters. We'll probably never know. If you're wondering why I react the way I do about getting a new shirt it's because myself and Aishling decided to stop buying new ones because we already have so many. Some we haven't even gotten around to wearing yet. But in the last three Blocks I have gotten four new shirts. I won't complain because I like most of them.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfcJJf3hyclQzP-UPe-AsiPkzI_mscYlROCtfGn8_GWFkAfIXAeV-EwvkoAYIofx9e8uOB_JdTJiAsmgYFNRW9eg4vxxkbRIbtYOih4hqB4JnJoRaReQyiRDCN2D1I-c_j9r7AS4s2OB6Q/s1600/IMG_0026.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfcJJf3hyclQzP-UPe-AsiPkzI_mscYlROCtfGn8_GWFkAfIXAeV-EwvkoAYIofx9e8uOB_JdTJiAsmgYFNRW9eg4vxxkbRIbtYOih4hqB4JnJoRaReQyiRDCN2D1I-c_j9r7AS4s2OB6Q/s1600/IMG_0026.jpg" height="640" width="436" /></a></div>
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<u><b>Little Deadpool</b></u><br />
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Without his mask. If you don't know him, Deadpool is a Marvel comic character. If you saw Wolverine: Origins then you would have seen the bastardised version of him at the end of that film. According to the card that comes with the Block there were two different versions of Deadpool that could be gotten. There was the one I got, the grey coloured outfit, and there was his normal coloured outfit, the one shown on the Funko box. He will join our ever growing collection of Funko. Last week I actually got the Never Nude Tobias Funke for my birthday from a friend.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMJNK1rqX3sFn7U5uhuy8Wsti7pmJsOzpevJPjCABOJrjUCRhtbG6_7Xpjhly1_1GD7YhzBqkb9SjDBqTMaf1EpTbGwtMbDIMYXpApDQybrQjCLdT7A6TP4CTsHhyFPMqfm5eFH_6kw2hk/s1600/IMG_0045.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMJNK1rqX3sFn7U5uhuy8Wsti7pmJsOzpevJPjCABOJrjUCRhtbG6_7Xpjhly1_1GD7YhzBqkb9SjDBqTMaf1EpTbGwtMbDIMYXpApDQybrQjCLdT7A6TP4CTsHhyFPMqfm5eFH_6kw2hk/s1600/IMG_0045.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<u><b>Coulson's Cards</b></u><br />
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You may know these from the Avengers film and they an important part in it. If you could hear me in the video I wondered out loud if they came with the blood stains on them. If you look at the photo on the left below you will see that it has "2 Complete Sets Of Cards".<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE3rnVmKgxUGaQKts6mIm69Y1OW_vwZOukvn-iNp8wIQ3cColjDbI2DWqDUIy3GkaiLN6sI_UY9CKGNtxJDLO1pGFz7TxT659eTFAroTWPtzz4ouf1xzKPe3o-EU2DgUa5h0TS0t9RyQh_/s1600/IMG_0046.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE3rnVmKgxUGaQKts6mIm69Y1OW_vwZOukvn-iNp8wIQ3cColjDbI2DWqDUIy3GkaiLN6sI_UY9CKGNtxJDLO1pGFz7TxT659eTFAroTWPtzz4ouf1xzKPe3o-EU2DgUa5h0TS0t9RyQh_/s1600/IMG_0046.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
And here are the two sets. They're both the same set of cards but one set has the blood stains on them. I like that you get both sets. Even though the quality of the cards aren't great they still went to the trouble to give you both.<br />
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They were in his locker.<br />
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<br />
<h3>
"And As You Die You See My Face"</h3>
<br />
<u><b>Arkham Patient Notes</b></u><br />
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When first looking at this I thought it was a little notebook that had some character information on the inmates of Arkham Asylum, which would have been cool, but it's still a pretty awesome little notebook and would come in handy if you needed post-it notes.<br />
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<br />
I, however, will probably never use it but I will put it with my other collection of things I have to show off. I could put it next to my Batman holding Joker over the side of a building statue.<br />
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<br />
<u><b>The Dangler</b></u><br />
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A phone charm of Link from the Zelda games. Or you could hang him off other things if you like. I never played a Zelda game before so I'm not as excited about this as I could be. It is cool and he has freaky claw hands for some reason. <br />
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<br />
<u><b>Stickers & Badges</b></u><br />
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This Nerd Block was called something like "Marvel vs D.C." or "Marvel D.C. VS" and it would seem that these badges are what they meant by it. It was the only thing in the box where both universes were together. And I like the stickers. I'm looking forward to Tusk. It should be crazy and have a good dose Kevin Smith's humour.<br />
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<br />
<h3>
"You're the Only One to Blame"</h3>
<br />
Thank you for watching and reading. Feel free to comment and let me know what you liked or disliked.<br />
<br />
Once again I would have liked to put a proper song in my video. But since I couldn't here is what it would have been. And yes, I have been listening to the new Slipknot album a lot recently.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-59522730948274514692014-10-19T21:36:00.000+01:002014-10-20T01:33:18.166+01:00It's Pronounced Ma-Cab-Ree<h3>
<b>"Step Inside, See The Devil In I"</b></h3>
<br />
Time for another round of the The Month Of Macabre. Today is the 19th so I will go from 11 to 19 in this blog. If you need a reminder of the list I suppose I could leave it here:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-9z9WUTBMQcuHCiszQGPlUjtSaiRU3kEoZyizsfMADLVJxi7c4HWcK_lJEC8T5-Y0Yvytj8pDZznzok7eu5P_zegj02EtlVM4hlvDjaIJLt4V7TrcMmgltp235ZqYd19YgmquLnRe3QX0/s1600/IMG_9861.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-9z9WUTBMQcuHCiszQGPlUjtSaiRU3kEoZyizsfMADLVJxi7c4HWcK_lJEC8T5-Y0Yvytj8pDZznzok7eu5P_zegj02EtlVM4hlvDjaIJLt4V7TrcMmgltp235ZqYd19YgmquLnRe3QX0/s1600/IMG_9861.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br />
<h3>
<b>"Too Many Times We've Let It Come To This"</b></h3>
<br />
<b><u>11: Coolest Transformation</u></b><br />
<br />
An American Werewolf in London. Another film I saw (or was subjected to) when I was around 9. The transformation from man to beast is still the best to this day. And it's 33 years old now. It just goes to show how much better practical effects are compared to CGI. CGI is outdated a week after it has been digitised. Which is why if they remake Gremlins they better keep the "computer wizards" the fuck away from it.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/201934222d42a93c02ba2fde3dbd3003/tumblr_mjtgcaXqqn1rvdee4o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://31.media.tumblr.com/201934222d42a93c02ba2fde3dbd3003/tumblr_mjtgcaXqqn1rvdee4o1_500.gif" height="346" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Insert "playing with his mickey" joke here.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
<u><b>12: Best Zombie Franchise</b></u><br />
<br />
Romero's Living Dead series. I haven't seen Survival of the Dead and I think I only liked Diary of the Dead because I was after binging on some hilarious badly dubbed Italian zombie films beforehand so compared to them Diary was like <strike>Citizen Kane</strike> American Beauty. But for Night, Dawn and Day it will always be the best franchise. Plus when you give it a chance, Land of the Dead is pretty good too.<br />
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<a href="http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6vgwhLfwK1rne776o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6vgwhLfwK1rne776o1_500.gif" height="344" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
<u><b>13: Favourite Friday The 13th Moment</b></u><br />
<br />
In Jason X (which does count as a Friday The 13th movie) Jason comes across two teens who offer him beer and weed and then asks him if he'd like to partake in some premarital sex. What else would you do when faced with that proposition? Why, beat up one girl with the other while both are tied up in sleeping bags of course. And then bash one against a tree. Perfect. I would have went with the tree bashing from Part VII but it had been cut down from the theatrical six hits to just one.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbys1uOrVj1qgx37po1_r1_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="354" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbys1uOrVj1qgx37po1_r1_400.gif" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"No one cared who I was until I put on the mask"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
<u><b>14: Favourite Freddy Moment</b></u><br />
<br />
Easy. "Welcome to primetime, bitch" from A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. The third film is a great movie. I would rank it as the second best film in the franchise. It had some ingenious kills and was before Freddy started to become a parody of himself. And Dokken wrote the theme song. Unfortunately part 4 had a rap song. Is it a coincidence Freddy started to suck when he went to rap music?<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.giphy.com/media/133zfNcgmqT7Ms/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://media.giphy.com/media/133zfNcgmqT7Ms/giphy.gif" height="360" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When people say their baby is beautiful, this is what I see.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
<u><b>15: Biggest Crush</b></u><br />
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Should I answer this? Aishling, if you're reading this just skip on to the next one. I guess at the time of watching it for the first time maybe Nancy from A Nightmare on Elm Street.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://heavyeditorial.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/noes_tongue.gif?w=640" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://heavyeditorial.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/noes_tongue.gif?w=640" height="362" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This should annoy Aishling a lot.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
<h3>
<b>"Step Inside, See the Devil In I"</b></h3>
<b> </b> <br />
<br />
<u><b>16: Guilty Pleasure Movie</b></u><br />
<br />
Does this mean a terrible film that I enjoy watching? Or one that I get pleasure from watching and should feel guilty for doing so? House of the Dead is a tremendously awful film based on the video game of the same name and was made by Uwe Boll. I've seen that two or three times which I suppose is two or three times more than anyone should. Uwe Boll makes some of the worst movies ever. And he always gets given money to make them. I will say this though, I have more of his films in my collection than I do of Eli Roth's. So that tells you how much I hate the likes of Hostel and all those torture porn films. So I guess I'll be skipping number 29 when I get to it.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://thegamershub.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/house-of-the-dead-3-4-hd-remakes-coming-to-psn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://thegamershub.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/house-of-the-dead-3-4-hd-remakes-coming-to-psn.jpg" height="388" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Honestly, this screenshot from the game is way better than anything from the film.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
<u><b>17: Ugliest Alien</b></u><br />
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Can an alien be ugly? To us maybe but to their own species? Do they understand our interpretation of ugly? What if what we presume is "ugly" is actually their "normal" or "not bad" or "Tanning Chatum". You know, has a big misshapen head but for some reason people find him attractive. A lot of aliens do have big misshapen heads too. Did I just figure out that Tanning Chatum is an alien? If so, then I pick him as ugliest alien.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://cdn01.cdnwp.celebuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/07/tumblr_mdzfn8a2X11rxrj8t.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://cdn01.cdnwp.celebuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/07/tumblr_mdzfn8a2X11rxrj8t.gif" height="256" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Seriously, that hat would be huge on a normal head.</td></tr>
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<u><b>18: Best Popular Song In A Movie</b></u><br />
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Since I don't know or care about other people's "popular" music I'm just going to go with a song I like. Aishling said I can't pick Pantera's Avoid the Light since I have never seen Dracula 2000, but then who has. Although, looking at the cast now maybe I should watch it. Just for Nathon Fillion as a priest. I am going for Lynyrd Skynyrd's Free Bird at the end of The Devil's Rejects. I think in a previous blog I mentioned how awesome the song is. It was also in GTA San Andreas and I remember it came on the radio while I was driving a tractor so I drove that tractor for the next 9 minutes just to hear the song. Also it turned out you couldn't modify a tractor. I wanted to put hydraulics on it.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://37.media.tumblr.com/dc0f366ac5c52b7eac1fbeb042ee20d6/tumblr_mgt4ddpTI01rl3iqko1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://37.media.tumblr.com/dc0f366ac5c52b7eac1fbeb042ee20d6/tumblr_mgt4ddpTI01rl3iqko1_500.gif" height="310" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Fuck you for not putting spinning rims on my rusty tractor"</td></tr>
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<u><b>19: Favourite Halloween Special</b></u><br />
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I can't really think of one but since nobody complained about me picking Scrooged in the last blog and it's really a Christmas film I'm going to pick The League of Gentleman's Christmas Special. It's really a horror anthology that takes place at Christmas so I think it works. I think The League of Gentlemen always works as a horror.<br />
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<h3>
<b>"You'll Realise I'm Not Your Devil Any More"</b></h3>
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And that is that. For now. I will continue on again in the next week or so. If you were able to guess the song that the quotes are from then you are rewarded with this video of the song. If you didn't guess correctly then you will be punished with this video of an awesome song.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-47476160951804499982014-10-11T20:34:00.001+01:002014-10-12T00:39:15.157+01:00It's Alive!!<h3>
<b>Movies For The 'Ween '014</b></h3>
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If you read my last blog I mentioned that I would be watching many horror films this month leading up to my Halloween Horror Movie Marathon Massacre. If you didn't read it<i> </i>I hope you had a good reason such as all the classic Universal<b> </b>Monsters entered our dimension to take over the world and you and your friends had to team up with Frankenstein ('s monster) to defeat them. Wolfman's got nards!!<br />
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Since the beginning of the month I have so far watched six films. I'm a little behind but I'll get there. It's all Aishling's fault anyway. Speaking of whom, she now has her own blog where she talks about stuff like clothes and music and films and other things she doesn't realise that I have better taste in. Go check out her blog <a href="http://spookyash.blogspot.ie/" target="_blank">here.</a> She reviewed some of these films too so you can find them <a href="http://spookyash.blogspot.ie/2014/10/halloween-films-watched-week-1.html" target="_blank">somewhere around here </a>and compare her thoughts with mine.<br />
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<u><b>Super 8</b></u><br />
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Super 8 is supposed to be an homage to Spielberg's Amblin films of the 80s and early 90s. Remember them? The Goonies and Gremlins? Super 8 is actually an action film where explosions happen between lens flares and some kids run around the set. Had it not tried to be an homage it could have been a great film but the fact that it actually tries so hard just makes it fail terribly. The kids are in no way endearing like they are in The Goonies. They just act like kids rather than being kids. Abrams should have left out half the effects and put more effort into writing a good children's sci-fi film. Also there was not one ethnic kid in the gang. How racist is that?<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://38.media.tumblr.com/f9df89ec3877000e218e9a17f7d6e044/tumblr_n0ly0w6qWa1rf6z3jo3_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://38.media.tumblr.com/f9df89ec3877000e218e9a17f7d6e044/tumblr_n0ly0w6qWa1rf6z3jo3_500.gif" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">RUN!! It's another fucking lens flare!</td></tr>
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<u><b>Los Ojos de Julia</b></u><br />
<u><br /></u>
Or "Julia's Eyes" to you. Julia and her twin sister suffer from a degenerative eye condition. The sister kills herself after her eye operation didn't work and Julia thinks that some shenanigans have been going on. The film starts off like a supernatural horror mixed with a giallo style. I wish it had stayed that way because it becomes a typical multiple predictable twist film. It should have been at least half an hour shorter too. One thing I did like was how when Julia had her eye operation and her eyes were bandaged over the camera never showed anyone's face. It just couldn't save the film.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://38.media.tumblr.com/c6637d337c58c06b60d6e0eee3a74469/tumblr_mrky4931TN1qz5q5lo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://38.media.tumblr.com/c6637d337c58c06b60d6e0eee3a74469/tumblr_mrky4931TN1qz5q5lo1_500.gif" height="268" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When I searched "Julia's Eyes gif" this came up.</td></tr>
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<u><b>Sinister</b></u><br />
<br />
Ethan Hawke is a true crime writer who moves into a new house and finds a box of old film reels and immediately starts to watch them and hits the bottle. Like all authors do. Those high-functioning alcoholics. The use of music for the film reels was great except for when they'd put in that jump-scare loud noise. When things go quiet you know a loud noise is coming along with a big close-up face. Pant-shittingly scary it is not. Sinister is like the opposite of Julia's Eyes. Julia's Eyes started as a supernatural film and became a kind of predictable thriller, whereas Sinister starts as a thriller and becomes a kind of predictable supernatural horror. But Ziggy is in it!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizAYx_6ksLXirdrV2eMTKhOfVV-vDB04oA2yt_yqUe9kVO9qQ7cdqKi3qMbXD87w4Im6M6EjSyBX3a3B7ySGU2ZwsUeEaoGho39LGjH1tIO5WWRVeicO4Iq28F1r2DJCIbmxXaEJk_Epkd/s1600/sinister3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizAYx_6ksLXirdrV2eMTKhOfVV-vDB04oA2yt_yqUe9kVO9qQ7cdqKi3qMbXD87w4Im6M6EjSyBX3a3B7ySGU2ZwsUeEaoGho39LGjH1tIO5WWRVeicO4Iq28F1r2DJCIbmxXaEJk_Epkd/s1600/sinister3.gif" height="324" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ahh! Wet paint, my one fear.</td></tr>
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<u><b>You're Next</b></u><br />
<br />
Madonna and her husband are joined by their spoilt rich kids and their partners and Ti West in their new house for a dysfunctional anniversary dinner. It's a<b> </b>clichéd family with the rich dad and stuck-up wife, the annoying bully brother who doesn't die quick enough, the semi-failed college lecturer, the bimbo daughter and the black sheep son. Besides all that it became a good home invasion thriller/horror. It's one of the few horror films where the woman becomes the hero who fights back but without having to be humiliated first like in I Spit On Your Grave. This is less revenge and more survival. A nice change. She's not an unkillable machine either as there are scenes where she is hiding and scared but she does take her opportunities and takes them with both hands. Usually wrapped around a weapon.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://38.media.tumblr.com/1fa00396aacf3fb85ce9ab447804e0e9/tumblr_mywmvwLqgj1tn18zgo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://38.media.tumblr.com/1fa00396aacf3fb85ce9ab447804e0e9/tumblr_mywmvwLqgj1tn18zgo1_500.gif" height="344" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah Madonna, I think it's that child you stole.</td></tr>
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<u><b>Big Ass Spider</b></u><br />
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You can probably guess what this is about from the film title. A military experiment goes awry and a spider escapes into L.A. and grows bigger and terrorises people with its crappy CGI butt webs. But fear not. That guy from that thing is on the case with his comic-relief-hispanic-sidekick. All this makes it sound like a terrible B-movie. Which it is but it's not entirely terrible. It's a fun creature feature. If it was produced by Sy-Fy then I'd be worried. And Ray Wise is in it with his Ray Wise voice. But what if it was actually called Big, Ass Spider? If someone from Sy-Fy is reading this then I want a producer credit.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://new1.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/The+smaller+one+is+still+a+big+ass+spider+i+_5e95f1ad665dca74023d29a2c41ca436.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://new1.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/The+smaller+one+is+still+a+big+ass+spider+i+_5e95f1ad665dca74023d29a2c41ca436.gif" height="477" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Most of you will probably identify with this.</td></tr>
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<u><b>Frankenstein</b></u><br />
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I assume you all know the story of Frankenstein. Or you have at least watched Young Frankenstein (if not then you really are failing at life) as it's the same basic story except for the dance number. Man creates monster, man can't control monster, man must kill monster. How many times have I had to do that. Gee whiz... But this is the 1931 film starring Boris Karloff as the monster wearing the make-up that every Frankenstein costume would be based on. It's a classic, even though there are parts that are quite funny now and the people don't seem that bothered that a man stole bodies and cut them up to make his monster. Watch it and see how good films used to be when the studios assumed everyone knew the story and didn't need an hour long build up to introduce the love interest and bore the arse off you.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi97XCe1Y77StWmanN84zsQUNWdCDd6AgMa7XZbRRAwLlfMVpLXFSpSfbAnQ6L-JUT2fwZdXpufUdbVO2U0BEK1jSPKdkKdM8njS_-UZ8MPK520iw_vjJuoioFgYN_pAoe_jHAH5pxpUFlx/s1600/Igor-Singing-young-frankenstein-26789799-500-247.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi97XCe1Y77StWmanN84zsQUNWdCDd6AgMa7XZbRRAwLlfMVpLXFSpSfbAnQ6L-JUT2fwZdXpufUdbVO2U0BEK1jSPKdkKdM8njS_-UZ8MPK520iw_vjJuoioFgYN_pAoe_jHAH5pxpUFlx/s1600/Igor-Singing-young-frankenstein-26789799-500-247.gif" height="316" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He's got <i>fresh</i> moves<i>. </i>Get it?</td></tr>
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<h3>
<b>Month of Macabre</b></h3>
<br />
Aishling is doing this <a href="http://spookyash.blogspot.ie/2014/10/month-of-macabre-01-07.html" target="_blank">Month of Macabre</a> thing so I might get involved with it too.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-9z9WUTBMQcuHCiszQGPlUjtSaiRU3kEoZyizsfMADLVJxi7c4HWcK_lJEC8T5-Y0Yvytj8pDZznzok7eu5P_zegj02EtlVM4hlvDjaIJLt4V7TrcMmgltp235ZqYd19YgmquLnRe3QX0/s1600/IMG_9861.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-9z9WUTBMQcuHCiszQGPlUjtSaiRU3kEoZyizsfMADLVJxi7c4HWcK_lJEC8T5-Y0Yvytj8pDZznzok7eu5P_zegj02EtlVM4hlvDjaIJLt4V7TrcMmgltp235ZqYd19YgmquLnRe3QX0/s1600/IMG_9861.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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Since I'm writing this on the 10th I will do as far as that this time. More to come in my next blog.<br />
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<br />
<u><b>01: Favourite Movie Killer</b></u><br />
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I gots to go with Jason Voorhees for this one. Friday the 13th has always been my favourite horror movie series.<br />
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<b><u>02: Sentimental VHS Rental</u></b><br />
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Salem's Lot. I remember waking up one night when I was younger and going into the sitting room and mom and dad were watching this on the telly. Many years later when I was in college I went to a nearby video/DVD rental shop and they had many horror films on video and I rented Salem's Lot. I now have it on DVD and myself and Ash just watched it recently.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic35yytBGHphEb6q7OK_1cS8eE-suCefHI9Ktwx4WVvtclokulJ8D223cnu5dQUq5Y5EXaHYkgyIz9cRR6UO5AaAn-oCkxqfEqvMQvwdSTqQ3CkI5bq5rXUxVF8Q9ZPy6l2HXuVg3BYok/s1600/Salems_Lot_cross_kid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic35yytBGHphEb6q7OK_1cS8eE-suCefHI9Ktwx4WVvtclokulJ8D223cnu5dQUq5Y5EXaHYkgyIz9cRR6UO5AaAn-oCkxqfEqvMQvwdSTqQ3CkI5bq5rXUxVF8Q9ZPy6l2HXuVg3BYok/s1600/Salems_Lot_cross_kid.jpg" height="482" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ah! So if you turn it upside down his clothes come off!</td></tr>
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<u><b>03: Creepiest Doll/Puppet</b></u><br />
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All the dolls from Dolls. Again when I was younger we were in my cousin's and I watched this film. I could remember it well for many years after. Charles Band made many films about killer dolls. But Dolls had the trifecta of being produced by Charles Band and Brian Yuzna with Stuart Gordon directing.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_1l5AK-Wq0sY/Skcxb-NB2GI/AAAAAAAAEkA/sY0offuPUX4/bscap0044_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_1l5AK-Wq0sY/Skcxb-NB2GI/AAAAAAAAEkA/sY0offuPUX4/bscap0044_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax=800" height="370" width="640" /></a></div>
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<u><b>04: Best or Worst Remake</b></u><br />
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I don't think I'm allowed pick The Thing (2011) as the worst remake because it's technically not a remake. It's supposed to be a prequel even though a lot of what happens rips off John Carpenter's The Thing. Which is why I call it a premake. It sucks anyway. But for worst remake I will go with When A Stranger Calls. No blood, nothing interesting happens and the killer gets arrested at the end. I just saved you 90 minutes.<br />
Best remake is The Fly by David Cronenberg. Great effects all over the place in this.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://38.media.tumblr.com/8a1e13d4d5457ed7c6c671a1af282a2b/tumblr_n65xwfu8kq1re6ep9o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://38.media.tumblr.com/8a1e13d4d5457ed7c6c671a1af282a2b/tumblr_n65xwfu8kq1re6ep9o1_500.gif" height="340" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Too many cuntin' sprouts.</td></tr>
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<u><b>05: Funniest Horror Comedy</b></u><br />
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There's Cannibal, The Musical. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil. Cabin in the Woods. But I will copy Aishling with this one and go with Shaun Of The Dead. It's so good that every wannabe horror comedy that has come out since is always compared to it. And when the quote on the cover says "The funniest horror since Shaun of the Dead" you know it will be nowhere near as good. I don't think anything will ever come close. It's got the perfect mix of humour and gore.<br />
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<u><b>06: Favourite Black & White Movie</b></u><br />
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There's a few good ones. Night of the Living Dead, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Psycho, Nosferatu (As you may or may not know, all the music for Nosferatu was destroyed because of a bitch but luckily the film survived and there are multiple soundtracks but the version we saw last year had music that was very black metal sounding and it worked superbly).<br />
My choice however is Fiend Without A Face. Flying brains attack people, a man hands out numerous rifles from the back seat of his car and a man accuses another man of "tom-cattin' around".<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://s3.amazonaws.com/criterion_images/current/Current_109_015.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="362" src="https://s3.amazonaws.com/criterion_images/current/Current_109_015.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dammit woman! That's not where you put your brain. Best to stick to things you know like kittens and child birth.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<br />
<u><b>07: Best Kill With An Object</b></u><br />
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Brain Dead. Or Dead Alive, depending on where in the world you are. Lionel disposes of many zombies with a lawnmower. It's the greatest mass zombie mutilation ever. If you haven't seen it yet then you need to immediately. It was made by a imaginative young go-getter who unfortunately went Hollywood and forgot how to stop making Lord of the Rings.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i495.photobucket.com/albums/rr311/MOVIES_AND_TV/HORROR/DEAD%20ALIVE/deadalive.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://i495.photobucket.com/albums/rr311/MOVIES_AND_TV/HORROR/DEAD%20ALIVE/deadalive.gif" height="480" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I kick arse for the Lord"</td></tr>
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<u><b>08: Freakiest Circus/Sideshow</b></u><br />
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I have no idea what this means. Is it something I have gone to or that I've seen in a film? I guess I'll pick the film Freaks. It's about a group of circus freaks that thinks a woman is marrying their friend for his money. It's really good and has actual freaks in it.<br />
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<u><b>09: Favourite Ghost</b></u><br />
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Patrick Swayze. Or the ghost of Christmas future from Scrooged. It still counts even though it's a Christmas film.<br />
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<u><b>10: Best Dracula</b></u><br />
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I think there have been a few great portrayals of Dracula. Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee and Gary Oldman. However, Nosferatu wins it for the original look and body shape that made great looking shadows. And he messed with Spongebob.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/fbc319954a153ea64c7b3273b15d4a6e/tumblr_mt6d78zIIa1satf7wo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/fbc319954a153ea64c7b3273b15d4a6e/tumblr_mt6d78zIIa1satf7wo1_500.gif" height="426" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is for you, Michelle.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<b>Look at Nosferatu's face above. It's mesmerising.</b><br />
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Next week I may have another review blog up about whatever films I get watched and I will continue the Month of Macabre thing. Maybe. If I can think of anything.<br />
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I will leave you with the video of an awesome song. For anyone who thinks the American Horror Story clown is scary you are an idiot. It's not about the make-up, it's who is under it. It was scarier when they decided to let Vesty McDickFace star in the second season.<br />
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Enjoy.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-72880545503591476072014-10-02T14:11:00.000+01:002014-10-02T14:22:38.668+01:00Block This... Huh!<b>"My Will Cannot Be Broken..."</b><br />
<b> </b> <br />
I finally did my first ever video blog. It was a lot easier than what all these youtubing people make out. You just act like you know what you're talking about and try not hit yourself in the face. Which is what happened to me. I don't know if that made it into the finished video. I let Aishling edit it for me because it gives her something to do and makes her feel useful.<br />
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The "vlog", as I call it, is a type of review of the Nerd Block and an opening/reaction of the Horror Block. Nerd and Horror Blocks are subscription based surprise packages. You pay a monthly subscription for either and they send you out a new box every month. I got the Nerd Block earlier in the month so I already knew what was in it when doing the video but the Horror Block only arrived that morning so when I opened it everything was a surprise to me.<br />
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I'll add some photos of what I got at the bottom so you can have a better look at the stuff and I'll also say something about them that I may have overlooked in the video or didn't have time to digest, as the case may be with the Horror Block.<br />
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<b>"...'Cause When I Rot I Crawl Back From The Dead"</b><br />
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So here is my first video blog:<br />
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Pretty awesome wasn't it? Except that I wasn't very loud and there were dogs barking in the background. The last bark at the end though was my dog Merle.<br />
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<b>"I Am The Living Proof..."</b><br />
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Here are some photos of the things I received.<br />
First are the Nerd Block items: <br />
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This is the stress ball brain. I guess if you have a need to use a stress ball then this would be good for you. You can also see the ink on the side that I mentioned in the video. It should have been pink too. (For those of you who don't spell good and don't understand what I said in that last sentence: It should OF been pink too)<br />
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I have no idea what ScribbleNauts is. This has to do with DC Comics so maybe it will eventually get a TV show but still not tie in to the greater DC movie universe. ZING!<br />
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I do kind of like this figure. It's like a Kinder Surprise but without the chocolate. Who buys them for the chocolate anyway?<br />
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<b>"...That You Can Right What Is Wrong In Your Head"</b><br />
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Once I get the chance I will make these papercraft Turtles. I'm sure I can do it on my own since it says you don't need adult things like scissors, tape and glue.<br />
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Here is what's on the back of the box. I like the pictures of the characters with their flat heads.<br />
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STRIPPER CRAB!! It's a nice plush toy. And may be a great conversation starter. "Hello new best friend. Want to touch my pubic louse?" If you get one as a present yourself and don't like it you can always pass it on to your friends.<br />
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This is probably my new favourite shirt. As you may know I love the Guardians of the Galaxy film and it had the greatest soundtrack known to man. The only problem with getting awesome shirts is that I never want to wear them because I know when I do it's the beginning of them becoming old and tattered.<br />
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<b>"The Weak Can Always Overcome..."</b><br />
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<b> </b>Here be the Horror Block goods:<br />
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On the leaflet that comes in the box it said that they were giving people an early Halloween costume and this is what they gave us. I will say that the mask is pretty good quality and while I'm not a big Iron Maiden fan it is still something I will keep and put on the end of sticks and peep in doors with.<br />
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I don't understand the point of the shirt as part of a "costume". It has a face on it but if you do what the Block people suggest and wear the mask with it you're just ending up with two faces. The one on the mask and the one on the shirt. But I suppose costumes don't have to make sense during "The 'Ween" (that's one of mine). I'll still wear the shirt. It now means I have a total of two white t-shirts.<br />
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Ahh Pennywise. The reason many people are afraid of clowns. I saw IT when I was younger and it never made me scared of clowns. They're just guys who want to have a good time and throw buckets of confetti on people. But I will wear this shirt in the hope I dredge up some long forgotten fears from childhood.<br />
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The tattoos are kind of lame but me and Aishling did put some on and they do look good. Probably not worth the $3.99 but fine nonetheless.<br />
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The Horror Movie Heroes book is more of a compendium of interviews and stories with and about directors, actors and movies from previous editions of Rue Morgue magazine. But I will enjoy reading it especially since it contains one of the last interviews Ray Harryhausen did before his death.<br />
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<b>"...But Only If They Burn With Desire"</b><br />
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And that concludes my Block reviews. While I wasn't impressed with everything I got in either box there was still enough in each to keep me happy. And you just know that the time you cancel the subscription the next one will have everything you love. Plus I'm expecting great things from Kevin Smith's Nerd Block this month. I hope he delivers.<br />
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I was saying to Aishling the other day that the Horror Block should get Phil Anselmo to put together their Halloween one. He'd probably just say in his Phil voice "Eyehategod albums for all" and that would be awesome. The man knows his horror so it would be a pretty sweet collection.<br />
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<b>"And All The Tears A Man Can Cry..."</b><br />
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If you were surprised or worried about the lack of GIFs in this blog, fret not. Aishling made some out of a few pictures she took of me "modelling".<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is from my private collection.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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That last one may give you nightmares or it may give you ideas. Either way you should be scarred for life.<br />
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Thank you, Aishling, for all your work in bringing this blog together.<br />
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<b>"...They Will Not Put Out The Fire"</b><br />
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For the month of The 'Ween I have decided to watch a load of horror films. At least 20. I was told to pick ones that were "Halloweeny" so I had to take out some but I fought to keep in Mutant Girls Squad. This will eventually lead up to my Halloween Horror Movie Marathon Massacre. Did you think I wouldn't be having a marathon after all those other films? Shame on you.<br />
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This year's marathon theme will be Haunted Houses. I have six films picked out that I will hopefully get watched over two days. Three on The ' Ween eve and another three on The 'Ween (has that caught on yet?).<br />
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And I will end it there. Thank you for reading and watching this blog. I may have some weekly blogs up during October just to give a few reviews of the films I get watched. Until then just sit idly by your computers until I return.<br />
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<b>"Walk With Knowledge Wisely"</b><br />
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The music in the video was a free metal track that we found online. I wanted to use Walk With Knowledge Wisely by Crowbar but you know how youtube be with copyrights. Cunts.<br />
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Here is the song anyway. Crowbar is the type of music that Tectonic Plate movements would make.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-72179463483155869692014-08-21T22:00:00.000+01:002014-08-21T22:01:36.440+01:00We're the Guardians... Guardians of the Galaxy<h3>
<b>Kiss My Ashes Goodbye </b></h3>
<b>"Curse all those who were so vain..."</b><br />
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I wasn't planning on doing a review of the Guardians of the Galaxy film but Aishling said I should. Also if anyone is having doubts about going to see it I hope this will help make up your mind. Because you really need to see it. At least twice. I hope to go see it for a third time next week. And when it finally comes out on blu-ray I will buy it and watch it many more times.<br />
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When was the last time you watched a film over and over? I asked Ash that question the other day. She said Jurassic Park and Aladdin. Myself? I can't remember. That's what happens when you turn 26. And I'll be turning 26 again in a couple of weeks. The problem with growing up/the internet is that there is too much stuff available to you. It even makes it hard to listen to an album. Damn iPod shuffle. But the youth are keeping the joy alive. A few weeks ago my sister told me how her friend's kid watched our DVD of My Neighbour Totoro so much that the disc wore out. That's dedication. And the perfect film to wear out. And my DVD. Will I get a replacement, Michelle?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PsW2dsi95wE/U6yl7UokLyI/AAAAAAAANOg/9P76ckbakqo/w800-h800/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PsW2dsi95wE/U6yl7UokLyI/AAAAAAAANOg/9P76ckbakqo/w800-h800/giphy.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He needs a rest after all that.</td></tr>
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Enough about my lost youth. It only reminds me of all the awesome toys I used to have and was too young to realise how much I'd want them now. I was watching Toy Story 3 today and I was just thinking that even though Andy didn't want to play with his toys any more because he was going to college, in another 10 years he'd wish he still had them. I don't know how a film review ended up as a pathos of childhood.<br />
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<b>"Who felt entitled to hold a place on the earth...</b><b>"</b><br />
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A bit of background on the comic from what I can remember reading from Wikipedia and for those who just want a Cliff-notes version:<br />
The Guardians in the film are not the original Guardians from the comic. Yondu, played by Michael rooker who is never bad in anything or in real life, was one of the original members of the 1969 Guardians. He did have a bigger mohawk in the comics and a bow to go with his arrow but he did also whistle to control the arrow. The Guardians in the film are based on the 2008 reboot cast. If you've seen the film you know Rocket's background but in the comics he was actually genetically modified, along with other animals, to look after the mentally ill people of the planet.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chris would be a helpful Rocket Raccoon.</td></tr>
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If you're one of the people who have a problem with Marvel movies you need to know that just because this is from Marvel it doesn't exactly feel like one. There are links to the greater Marvel Cinematic Universe, with a couple of characters appearing, but because this was more of a test James Gunn was able to have Funn with it (you like that?). And he had a tremendous amount of fun making it. If Captain America was too serious and Thor 2 was too lovey for you then this has the balance of neither.<br />
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It's like when the singer of a band you love goes and does a side project. They have fun doing something different and that is what inevitably makes the side project better. Just like when Phil Anselmo formed Down. Now that I've gotten onto music (how did that happen?) I will talk about the soundtrack for the film. It is the greatest soundtrack ever. Myself and others have been listening to it constantly. I'm listening to it now while writing this. It just proves how much better music was until record companies/indie bands/emos/pretentious-cunts-with-full-stops-in-their-name got involved and eventually ruined everything magical about music. Tarantino knows how to use a song to make a scene better. The end of The Devil's Rejects was infinitely better for having Skynyrd's Free Bird. But then Free Bird would make anything better. Except Transformers. That shit is a lost cause.<br />
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<b> "</b><b>As a grave for their remains</b><b>"</b><br />
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Just like the other Marvel films the casting for Guardians was spot on. Although I do think Odin should have been played by Brian Blessed but at least Anthony Hopkins tried harder in Thor 2. As a wrestling fan I never really liked Dave Bautista's Batista character. Especially when he returned this year after going Hollywood and was just a skinny jean wearing douche character of himself. But in Guardians he was one of the best characters being that he was literal about everything that was said. I was pleasantly surprised. Lee Pace was unrecognisable as Ronan the Accuser. It was a real change of character for him. Who knew a pie maker could be so evil? For anyone who has seen Parks & Recreation you will know just how good Chris Pratt is. The man writes his own songs in the show. Just listen to his song about the Jean-Claude van Damme film Sudden Death:<br />
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<a href="http://youtu.be/2aVbW-bnnEA">http://youtu.be/2aVbW-bnnEA</a><br />
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I couldn't get the embed code for it and NBC are asses for not allowing outsiders to watch their videos. But watch it. You will not be disappointed. It's as if the Star-Lord character was created for him. Or he was created for it. Either way we deserved it. The only other person I could think of playing Star-Lord would be Nathon Fillion (did you spot him in the film?) but maybe he could be Star-Lord's dad?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Andy likes that idea too.</td></tr>
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I won't say any more about it now. Just go and watch it. Again and again. It also has the single best dance sequence of any film. Yes, even better than Hot Rod's. When I do get the Guardians on blu-ray I think I will have to have a double bill screening of it and Pacific Rim back-to-back. Now that is what life is about.<br />
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<b>"But no monument for me, please... I am not one of them..."</b><br />
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If you were astute enough to notice the name of this post you might have figured out that it's paraphrasing Amon Amarth whom myself and Aishling got to meet last week. It was a really awkward time but one that I enjoyed because I got to meet one of my favourite bands. I even got the first album of theirs I ever bought signed by them. With Oden On Our Side. No matter how awkward it was I still wouldn't change it. Thanks for winning the competition, Ash. Now win me one so we can meet Mastodon.<br />
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<b>"I didn't need it in life, I won't need it in death"</b><br />
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That will be it for now. You'll have to absorb this blog slowly to tide you over until the next one. And watch Parks & Recreation in the meantime. You'll need more Chris Pratt until the Guardians of the Galaxy sequel comes out in 2017.<br />
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<b>Recommendation: Zodiac</b><br />
David Fincher's very tense and very true to life story of the Zodiac killer(s).<br />
<b> </b><br />
Now go away. And remember, if you're doing the ice bucket challenge, no one gives a fuck. Certainly not these awesome badasses:<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-65392413200057568422014-08-02T20:05:00.000+01:002014-08-02T20:05:41.623+01:00What I Did On My Summer Holidays"<b>Child Of Dunwich Rise..."</b><br />
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<b> </b>So, I have been gone for a while now. I took a break over the summer to watch the World Cup. I'm not really that much into football ("soccer" for you Americans or for others: "that sport where ugly people make loads of money for falling about a field for an hour and a half every week looking for a free kick that they'll spend ages psyching themselves up for only to end up blasting the ball into a child's face at the top of the stands and then put their head in their hands like they just missed by an inch but then remember that it's okay because they'll still be able to afford that ivory back-scratcher because their pay check will still clear no matter how bad they are at their job/driving/being a loyal partner/being any use to humanity and when summer comes it's cattle-mart time where they whore themselves out to another club who will help them pay for their super-injunctions and for a house in Spain where their mistress can hide out with their illegitimate child and when August comes around again it's kicky sport ball time") but it was the World Cup and you can't say no to the spectacle of thousands of people in a stadium watching football for a couple hours a day just to help them forget about the poor people begging and the drug dealers murdering everyone outside the stadium and hoping they can make it back to their hostel or the beach afterwards without having to step over a dead child or two on the way.<br />
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Maybe I should say something good about it now. Spain looking like a bunch junkies playing on the street was a highlight. As was Brazil getting destroyed by Germany. They deserved it. Also myself and Aishling watched The Warriors before the start of the World Cup so it was fun thinking of all the teams who got knocked out having to make their way from their hotel to the airport by themselves, travelling through the city with no protection and trying to avoid all the roaming gangs.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look out for the David Schwimmer gang.</td></tr>
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<b>"...You Have Your Father's Eyes</b>"<br />
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After the kicky sport ball was over it was time for my holidays. I went to many places. Some were good and others were full of murder and intrigue. Here's an account of where I went and what I saw:<br />
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I travelled to New York and spent some time with a quiet French man. He was an usual man with a pet pig and always slept sitting in a chair and would only drink milk. I think he worked as a painter and/or cleaner because he used to return from work with red on him. I think it was paint.<br />
From there I took a bus to a small town. I must have arrived during a festival because everyone was dressed in costume. I didn't spend long here because the cinema was closed and there was something about the mayor I didn't like.<br />
I hopped on a train and must have fallen asleep because when I woke I had no idea where we were. We were going through somewhere that was covered in snow. I tried asking people where we were but some of them seemed to be getting high on what looked like honeycomb nuggets and there was an awful ruckus going on towards the back of the train. Must have been knackers. That happens here in Ireland all the time too.<br />
I won't bore you with the details of how I got off the train but my next stop was to an Ape sanctuary, as recommended to me by a friend. The place was quiet when I got there. All I could see when I looked in the window was a dead Malfoy. And no monkeys. What a jip.<br />
When I reached Egypt I was supposed to meet a man who would guide me to Hamunaptra but I was told he had already left with some other people. Never book with a low cost holiday website. They'll shaft you every time. I will not Return.<br />
I managed to get an airship out of there and to Paris. (What do you mean that's not realistic?) I spent a few days in Paris visiting a few sights. One of those sights was seeing gargoyles attacking a man with scars on his face that would sometimes magically disappear but then reappear a while later. It was like something out of a video game.<br />
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My next stop was the Antarctic where I was to spend time with a research group and take their findings back to America for them. There must have been a gas leak or something because the place had burned down when I got there. No sign of life. I hope everyone and the dogs got out of there alive.<br />
On my way to America to tell the school what had happened I had a stop over in Paris again. There was talk of a monster terrorising the city. I caught a glimpse of it once. It wasn't like the gargoyles from before. This one couldn't fly but it could jump great distances.<br />
Back in America there was supposed to be someone from the school to pick me up but I couldn't find them anywhere. I did however get a lift with a family in their van (a van we had to push to get it going). It was awkward at times but nonetheless enjoyable.<br />
They dropped me off at the school and as I was on my way to see the professor to tell him what had happened to the research base I passed by a classroom where the teacher was asking the children math questions while playing a guitar. Quite odd but I'm sure it was a <u>sound</u> method.<br />
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<b>"Child Of Dunwich Rise..."</b><br />
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While driving to my next destination I took a wrong turn where the road ended in front of a building. I decided to go for a walk through the building to see what was on the other side. The place looked like it was going to be an amusement park but had been forgotten. Except the restaurants were still in business it seemed. No one was around but the food was the best I ever had. I ate like a pig and put myself into a food coma and when I awoke it was like days had passed.<br />
I eventually reached Arkansas where I would be getting my next flight from. While staying in a motel there I heard news of a man wanted for murder. I asked a couple of kids, who I had seen dragging around an outboard motor from a speedboat, if they knew anything about it but they said they didn't.<br />
I caught my flight to my next destination. It was to an idyllic city that was out of this world. There were robot servants and sunbeds that actually cured skin cancer. Unfortunately this nice place was overrun by poor people. Kind of like how the English always ruin the nice holiday towns. Bastards.<br />
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The only flight I could get out of there brought me to a small coastal town called Antonio Bay. When I arrived they were celebrating the centenary of their town. This celebration was cut short due to a thick fog enveloping the town. I also heard later that some people had died. Strange thing is fog.<br />
I made it to the other side of America to another small town. People were dying here too except there were rumours that they weren't staying dead. I decided not to to stay here too long so I bought a sideboard from the new antique store. It would be shipped in a crate to my home.<br />
For the last day of my holidays I decided to go see a boxing match. This wasn't any ordinary type of boxing match, this was between two robots. I had heard about this a while ago and I shouldn't have taken so long to see it. It was really enjoyable. I would recommend it to you.<br />
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<b>"...End The World That You Despise"</b><br />
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And that was my rather unbelievable summer holidays. It really happened. Who are you to deny it?<br />
<b> </b><br />
If you can guess any of the films I just described then feel free to comment with as many answers as you can (is there any point in asking you not to google them all?) and be sure to watch some of them too. Also the three pictures are there for you to guess, except for The Wedding Singer. That just worked so well with the picture above it.<br />
In my next blog, whenever that is, I will tell you what all 20 of them are. You should be able to get the first one (first picture) because it's the only film I mentioned by name outside of my holiday essay.<br />
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<b>Recommendation: The Lego Movie</b><br />
It's awesome. Watch it.<br />
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That is all I have to say for now. Good luck with the quiz thing I just made up. See you Lazer.<b> </b> <br />
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And if you win you can do a little dance:<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-53812382372526587312014-05-14T22:36:00.000+01:002014-05-14T23:00:51.108+01:00Get Your Ass in Gear - Clutch @ The Academy, Dublin, 9th of May 2014<h3>
Clutch</h3>
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<b>"Doctor or Lawyer, I'll Never Be"</b><br />
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Friday 9th of May 2014 marked the first time I got to see Clutch play live. And it was worth the wait. I remember hearing Clutch for the first time in 2004 while playing the Hitman: Contracts video game. Their song Immortal featured on one of the levels when you enter a biker bar. There's no better song to kill people to. It has the heaviness and the lyrics "I am immortal" are sung , and stick in your head, while you slaughter everyone. It makes quite an impact.<br />
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It wasn't until a year later that I really got into Clutch. The video to Burning Beard was played non-stop on Scuzz (the metal music channel from the UK that has kind of gone down hill in the last few years. You have to wait until night time to hear anything decent and even then you still have a lot of shit stuck in the middle. It's like a nightclub DJ who plays so much crap until they finally get to the 3 song attack of Queen, Bon Jovi and T-Rex and you think to yourself: "maybe things are picking up here" but then they go back to playing the same shit again) and myself and my friend, "E" let's call her, couldn't stop watching the video.<br />
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It was a crazy song that made no sense but it was something new and different compared to the Emo bullshit that was taking over at the time. I would have sacrificed many Emos to bring Nu Metal back and not have that asymmetrical hairstyle, woe-is-me, rich kid, "let's go on a black parade", what-the-fuck-is-a-black-parade? bunch of fuckers around any more. Needless to say I bought the album, Robot Hive/Exodus, as soon as I got the chance.<br />
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So 10 long years later we finally got to see Clutch play live. And they didn't disappoint.<br />
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<b>"Life of a Drifter - Only Life For Me"</b><br />
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I had spent the last two weeks leading up to the gig checking Clutch's set lists from their UK tour dates and while most bands will stick to the same set list for the duration of a tour, or even for a year or two, Clutch never played the same set twice. They may play the same songs a few of the nights but they were never in the same order. The only constant was that they played 19 songs in total. You never quite know what you will get so it's always best to listen to all their songs in preparation. Which isn't a bad thing as they have never written a bad song.<br />
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Supporting them was a band called Lionize. I listened to a couple of their songs beforehand and I enjoyed what I heard. But it's a different story when you see them live. They are great musicians and really impressive at what they do. I think I will be getting some more of their stuff in future.<br />
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Clutch kicked things off with The Mob Goes Wild. And appropriately enough the mob in attendance did go wild. They followed this with the already classic Earth Rocker and Unto the Breach. I'll stop here to tell you that if you haven't already picked up the Earth Rocker album then you must immediately go and get it. You can finish reading this if you like but you should definitely get the album as soon as possible.<br />
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It was nice to be at a gig where the majority of those in attendance actually knew the band they were seeing. Twice last year I had been to gigs where, during Orange Goblin, two people decided that a heavy metal band provided the best music to have a conversation to. They spent the whole time talking right beside me and Aishling until Ash dragged me away after I asked them if they were gonna continue to be ignorant assholes. The answer was yes.<br />
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At Red Fang last summer it was hipster central. I don't understand why these skinny jean wearing fuck nuts buy tickets to bands they have no clue about. They only ever know the one or two songs they heard on youtube the night before. In the end I put it down to the venue. Both of those gigs took place at notorious hipster hangouts. Luckily Clutch was in a good venue that while not exclusively for metal bands they do have a good mix so the hip-tards (hipstards? - comment below) avoid it because it's "too popular".<br />
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<b>"You Can Have Your Riches, All The Gold You Saved"</b><br />
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Back to the gig now. I can't tell you what it meant to me to finally witness one of my long time favourite bands play a few feet away from me. To see Neil Fallon act out his lyrics as he sang them and a few times during the night we got to see him show off his guitar skills with the brilliant The Regulator, the sombre Gone Cold and the classic Electric Worry. He's got some cowbell skills too.<br />
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The rest of the band - JP Gaster on drums, Tim Sult on guitar and Dan Maines on bass - were, as you'd expect from a band that has been together for nigh on 25 years with no major personnel changes (they did once have a keyboard player for three years), all extremely tight and highly skilled. Tim can play those bluesy riffs like it's nobody's business.<br />
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It's hard to convey just how amazing Clutch are live. If they ever play near you then you owe it to yourself to go see them. And bring all your friends. If life was fair Clutch would be selling out bigger venues around the world. But life isn't fair so we're stuck with Robin Thicko rape songs and gyrating disease monkeys. Call me selfish, but I'd rather keep Clutch to myself than share them with the type of people who listen to that kind of stuff. And if you are one of those people then hit yourself over the head with something hard. Repeatedly. Not to forget that you read my blog but just because you deserve it. And I'm too far away to do it for you.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Brain of Light</td></tr>
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<b>"Cause’ Ain’t Room For One Thing In Everybody’s Grave"</b><br />
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Here are the shirts we got at the gig from the nice merch guy who I hope got to finish his ham sandwich.<b></b><br />
Also thanks to Aishling for the photos she took which I have used here. Check out her <a href="https://www.facebook.com/AishlingONeillPhotography?fref=ts" target="_blank">Facebook photography page</a> and/or <a href="http://aishlingoneillphotography.blogspot.ie/" target="_blank">Photography blog page</a>.<br />
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That will do it from me this time. Just my recommendation left:<br />
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<b>Pumpkinhead</b><br />
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Ash wanted to watch Pumpkinhead last week and I know it didn't disappoint her. She can't stop talking about it. You don't need to know if what she says is good or bad. Just know that she said something about it. It stars Lance Henriksen so that should be good enough for you.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-6318411108615014002014-04-11T21:47:00.000+01:002014-04-11T21:47:04.346+01:00A Lesson in Criti-quette<h3>
"Life is just pain and piss, it's nothing that I will miss"</h3>
Welcome back for some more of my self-satisfying typing words. And GIFs. The GIFs are the best part really. Especially when I get a great one with an hilarious caption. Like The Exorcist one about sprouts. That was genius. Told you it was self-satisfying.<br />
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So in this blog I will be critiquing some films that I felt could/should have been good only for them to fuck it up somehow. And I will tell you what that "somehow" is, hopefully without spoiling too much on you. I say "critiquing" but I mean "complaining". Something I never do so bear with me while I try spew my hatred out.<br />
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<b>Man Of Steel</b><br />
I believe I mentioned before in my end of the year awards that the fighting looked terrible and I finally figured out why. I was watching the supremely better Blade 2 and we all know the fight scene early on when the vampires break into Blade's hideout and he fights Nyssa in front of all the lights. Well, the fighting bodies in that were quite rubbery like they were in Man of Steel. So what's the problem? Blade 2 was made over 10 years before Man of Steel meaning there was no excuse for Superman to look like he was fighting elastic bands in 2002. Technology and the budget of Man of Steel should have been advanced enough to make it look better and somewhat real. With technology as advanced as it is there really is no excuse for the effects to be so bad in a film this big.<br />
Avengers had a similar budget and more action on screen and still made Hulk Man look realistic next to everyone else. As realistic as a giant green monster can look. Plus the writing was just bad in Man of Steel. Joss Whedon should write everything. With Guillermo del Toro. Can you imagine how badass the female characters would be with those two writing them? No more Christopher Nolan style "I want to strangle that woman and not in a good way" characters.<br />
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<b>The Hunger Games 2: Even Hungrier</b><br />
The first Hunger Games was a movie. That's about the best that can be said about it. But we'll always have the memory of hunger man throwing the bread at hunger girl. Out of context it is hilarious. What a hungry bastard. So I had heard good things about the sequel. Still not good enough to make me pay to see it but I <strike>illegally<b> </b>downloaded it</strike> acquired it by legal means and now realise that anybody who thinks it was in any way decent should immediately look into self-castration, whether by chemical or other means. I honestly don't know how it got such good reviews. I suppose one good thing about the film is that there are no troughs. There are no peaks either. It just kind of plateaus for the whole run time. If the film was a person it would be coding (medical speak) and it should have been put out of its misery long before it reached the halfway mark.<br />
The first half is about the hungry fuckers parading around the place and travelling on a train and the second half is about the hungry fuckers parading around a jungle. Some people die, mostly off camera so what's the point? There was something about killer fog but it was like the simple sibling fog of John Carpenter's or Stephen King's Mist. It's pretty much what I expect from a film aimed at kids and older people who wish they were younger and try desperately to fit in with the younger generation but no amount of selfies or planking or 4-starring shit like this film will miraculously make you 19 again. But still look into that castration thing. All the kidz are doing it. Trust me.<br />
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<b>The Wolf of Wall Street</b><br />
The Wolf of Wall Street tells the story of a 70 year old man and his desperate attempt to win an Oscar with a porn film. If you took out all the sex and drugs in this film it would be a movie about a young stock broker meeting Matthew McConaughy for the first time. And then the credits would roll. Now you may think I'm just nit-picking but can you honestly say that it genuinely felt like a Scorsese film? I sat through the whole film and I actually forgot who made it until Scorsese's name came up at the end. Anybody could have been the director. It was as if he took from all his past films and stuck them together and made something resembling a Scorsese film. There was none of that Scorsese feel like you get watching Goodfellas or Taxi Driver. And for a man who lived through the 80s you'd think he would have gotten the look of it right. But then...<br />
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I'm glad DiCaprio didn't win an Oscar for it either because the man has done and will do far better work. But his battle with the steps is still one of the best scenes I have ever witnessed. I think I have typed the name Scorsese enough times tonight.<br />
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<b>Dredd</b><br />
I'm not gonna bash Dredd. I actually enjoyed it. I will just say that lady Judge was pointless and it was in no way better than The Raid. I don't care if it was written before The Raid. The fact is I didn't get the same adrenaline rush I got watching Dredd as I did watching The Raid and still get after seeing it many times. Something I thought was well done in Dredd was the slo-mo. Many films use slo-mo just for the sake of it *cough* Snyder *cough* but in Dredd they actually have a reason for it and it just adds to the spectacle. If they do make a sequel I just hope they stick with the formula that made this one the Robocop remake we should have gotten.<br />
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<h3>
<b>"</b><b>Life is just pain and piss, it's just... temporary"</b></h3>
I think I've insulted enough of you now. Especially if you liked the second Hunger Games film. But you did deserve it. <br />
My recommendation:<br />
<b>Battle Royale</b><br />
Seems obvious considering. It's what The Hunger Games could have been had it been Japanese and/or good. They should have just put "Beat" Takashi in it. He instantly makes everything 100% better.<br />
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If you have any problems with what I have said then we can fight about it. Either in the comments or on the streets. But I promise you, you will be either of these people in that fight:<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-89984294860761315382014-03-03T23:22:00.001+00:002014-03-03T23:22:58.782+00:00Music and Video Games Part 2<h3>
"Crumbling world falls through my hands" </h3>
This time I won't be talking about albums as much as last time as I never got round to listening to as many as I should have. I blame it on the shuffle function of my iPod. Damn thing makes it too easy to listen to many awesome songs* but harder to listen to an entire album. Some albums I still gots to listen to are:<br />
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Volition by Protest the Hero. If it's anything like their last two albums then it should be awesome.<br />
Meir by Kvelertak. I just recently got into these. It's like party rock but in a foreign language.<br />
One One One by Shining. Seriously, you just need to listen to these guys. More on them below.<br />
House of Gold and Bones by Stone Sour. I did think that the slow songs on Audio Secrecy were a bit too Bon Jovi for my liking but when they get their heavy on it never disappoints.<br />
One of Us Is the Killer by The Dillinger Escape Plan. I'm sure this will be just as irritatingly awesome as the rest of their stuff.<br />
The Devil Put Dinosaurs Here by Alice in Chains. The songs I have listened to are just as good as their earlier stuff. We still all miss Layne though.<br />
Halo of Blood by Children of Bodom. I haven't been listening to them as much as I used to but I think I should remedy that soon.<br />
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There are many more albums that have come out but you can Wikipedia them for yourself. For this blog I am gonna put up some songs that made up my 2013. If I can remember them. Some may be odd and some may not be to your liking but they will all be better than anything you will hear playing in Tesco. Also I might mention video games too. But first...<br />
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What better way to start than with Down.<br />
<b>Pillars of Eternity</b><br />
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This is from Down's first album, NOLA, which will be 20 years old next year. I already love Lifer and Stone the Crow, (Interesting note, on their live album you can hear me on the Stone the Crow track as I was in the audience that night. Yep, all that crowd noise is me), but after revisiting the album I fell in love with this song too. Honestly, if you have ever listened to Down you will know that it's not hard to love all their songs. Each one is a masterpiece. Few bands ever consistently release awesome albums but Down is definitely one of them.<br />
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<b>Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon</b><br />
Far Cry 3 was a pretty great game. You were on an island and you could hunt animals and people with a bow and arrow. How do you make that better? You change the game into an over-the-top 80's sci-fi action film with a cybernetic commando called Rex Power Colt voiced by Michael Biehn. And keep the bow. But throw in some giant lizards that shoot lasers from their eyes. Still not hooked? How about a gun called "A.J.M. 9" and a shotgun called "Galleria 1991". If you don't get the references then we can't be friends. But comment below if you know the answer and you can win a smug smile for yourself.<br />
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<b>The One Inside</b><br />
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Shining from Norway (not to be confused with Shining from Sweden, unless you like black metal with suicidal themes) have melded Jazz with heavy metal and given it the name "Black Jazz" as was the title of their last album. The above video was filmed in one take in the desert and all while they were wearing black. More bands should release videos of themselves performing their songs live. It proves there's no trickery or chicanery. Let's see The Carter Twins do that. Shining also released a video for I Won't Forget where they played on the ruins of their former rehearsal and studio building. Also, Aishling won't forgive me if I don't mention Jorgen Munkeby's dance moves in this video. Watch and enjoy.<br />
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<b>Tomb Raider</b><br />
This was the much needed reboot up the hole that Lara Croft had been begging for. I had played the previous game, "Anniversary" I think it was, and while it was a pretty good game it was just kind of stupid in what they added to it. You could download or unlock new clothes for Lara to wear while you were raidering tombs so naturally I had her in a bikini while running and swimming through sewers. It just made sense. This game, however, gets rid of the silliness and the juvenile sexuality thing and just puts Lara in fear for her life doing dangerous things while helping her friends and searching for treasure. She also has a bow. 2013 was the year of the bow.<br />
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<b>Ghetto Love</b><br />
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I have secretly been enjoying this song every time it comes up on Aishling's iPod. Actually I have enjoyed most of Spinnerette's songs when I hear them. Just don't tell Aishling because she'll never shut up about it. To which I will say that I introduced her to Mastodon, Machine Head, Clutch and Burzum. She may not be too happy about that last one considering she likes crunchy cornflakes. Anyway, if you like Queens of the Stone Age but wish it had a female singer then check out Spinnerette.<br />
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<b>The Walking Dead: Season One</b><br />
For the love of god do not confuse this with The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct. If you're playing as Daryl Dixon and killing the same looking zombies over and over again then you've got the wrong game. If you're playing an engrossing, compelling, story-driven point and click game then you have the right one. It comes in five parts (episodes) and your actions will affect the story as you play on. Season Two came out this year but I have yet to play it but if it's as good as the first season then I will love it. Also the same developer released a new episodic game called The Wolf Among Us. I played the first episode and it was really fun. You play as the big bad wolf and have to solve crimes that happen to the inhabitants of fairy tales now living and hiding in New York.<br />
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<b>Madman</b><br />
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You can keep all your female pop singers because here is one singer I want on my team when the inevitable apocalyptic musical showdown happens. Agnete Kjølsrud will single-handedly destroy all the meat wearing, attention-seeking industry whores that plague our lives. And probably eat the meat that was hanging off that drag queen. Although I'd advise her against it because god only knows what diseases you would get from it. Probably some we thought had been eradicated but were just festering in the orifices. So now that you've read my thoughts go and listen to the song above so you will see what I mean and discover a new band for yourself. Also check out Animal Alpha.<br />
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<b>Metro 2033 </b>&<b> Metro: Last Light</b><br />
Metro 2033 is based on the novel of the same name and was released in 2010 but it took me this long to play it. It's a first person shooter set in the post-apocalyptic underground metro of Moscow. I'll just start out here by saying that it is nothing like Call of Duty. Metro has a story and you have to fight for your life. Whether it's against the Nazis, mutant creatures or the time running out on your air filter. The weapons in it are quite inventive as some are pneumatic and you have to pump them up to make them stronger and the currency you use is special high grade ammo which you can use to kill or use to survive by buying filters and health. Metro: Last Light came out last year and continues on from where one of the two endings of the first game finishes. While not as good as the original it is still enjoyable and more Metro can only be a good thing.<br />
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<b>I Was Buried in Mount Pleasant Cemetery</b><br />
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Woods of Ypres were a band I had heard of a while back but for whatever reason I took too long to listen to. After hearing this for the first time in December last year I have constantly been listening to it ever since. It's just one of those songs that you can feel the emotion coming from it. Before reading on you should listen to the song. Just the once will do.<br />
Now that you have listened to it - and I'm sure you listened to it more than once because it is that good - you may be sad to hear that the singer, David Gold, died in 2011. Now you can listen to the song knowing that it is now somehow even more emotional and depressing. Especially considering that we will never hear anything new from this exceptional songwriter.<br />
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I don't like to end on a down note. Here's a song:<br />
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<b>"Where the old path I ran came to an end"</b><br />
<b> </b>And so this blog comes to an end. I hope you like the songs I put up or even found some new bands to enjoy and some games to try out. Or like, whatever, I don't care.<br />
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Sticking with the musical theme of this blog, my recommendation for this chapter is:<br />
<b>Until The light Takes Us</b><br />
It's a documentary about the early black metal scene in Norway and the murders and church burnings surrounding that particular subculture. If you watch it then you will understand the crunchy cornflakes comment I made above.<br />
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Until the light takes me back to you with my next blog, keep on rockin'.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-11506611887367819592014-01-31T22:14:00.000+00:002014-01-31T22:14:45.032+00:00Music and Video Games.<h3>
"I Will Suffer No Evil, My Guitar Will Guide Me Through"</h3>
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As the title of this blog suggests this one will be about music and video games. So if you don't like either then you should go play the football and listen to the radio. Plenty of no music for you to enjoy on the radio. I was going to make two separate posts for both but I'm too lazy so I am just going to combine them into one. And maybe make it a two parter. I have played quite a few games this year.<br />
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"Unpredictable Times Call For The Reliable Friend"</h4>
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I suppose the best place to start would be with one of the best albums of the year. That would be Earth Rocker by Clutch. If you haven't heard this album yet then I would highly recommend you rectify it immediately. If you are a fan of Clutch's last few albums then this one should be one of your favourites. There are no more bluesy elements to the songs, it's more stripped down and rockier, but then there were never any problems with their bluesy songs anyway. I've read some reviews of Earth Rocker with the reviewer saying that they weren't fans of the previous albums because of the bluesy aspects. I guess that means the reviewer is just a tosspot. Earth Rocker still maintains the signature Clutch riffs and the what-the-hell-is-he-on-about Neil Fallon lyrics<br />
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From one of the best albums of the year to one of the best video games of the year. Bioshock Infinite. Infinite is one of those games that may not have the greatest gameplay elements (it is an FPS after all) it does however have the Sky-Hook. Throughout the floating city of Columbia are rails called "Sky-Lines", much like those used for cable cars, and once you receive the Sky-Hook you can use it to attach yourself to the Sky-Line and zip around the city at speed like a human roller-coaster. But that's not just its only use. You can use it to take the head or face off your enemies. The real selling point of the game is the story. The Bioshock series' have had some of the best written storylines, not just in video games but in TV and film. But i will not give away any of it here. You will just have to play it for yourself.<br />
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"And every time you open up your mouth, A load of Horseshit comes flying right back out"</h4>
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Another album released last year was Deceiver of the Gods by Amon Amarth. If I remember rightly i have already wrote a blog post about this album so feel free to look it up to see what I said about the album and I gave a quick synopsis of each song. Luckily they finally realised a video for the song Father of the Wolf. It only took them 7 months, but it was worth it. We got an epic 10 minute mini movie of a music video. Do yourself a favour and watch it below. And yes, Loke is a million times better than Thor.<br />
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The Last of Us was released during the summer. SHOCK! HORROR! I played a PS3 game. I had been waiting for this game ever since it was revealed the year before. It just looked like it was gonna be something amazing and it was. And it was released at the right time because there was a heat wave incoming. So what better way to spend the really hot summer days than sitting inside sneaking past Cordyceps zombies and killing the real monsters: Man. Dun-dun-dunnnnnnnn. Much like Bioshock Infinite, the real selling point of the game is its story. It's one that draws you in and asks you to do things which at the time seems like the right choice but after playing you're left wondering if you were really the good guy after all. Does that seem like a spoiler? Just ignore it if it does. Besides, you should have played it by now. 6 month spoiler rule.<br />
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"No, no, no, I've never worn no uniform. Except for the ballroom blitz"</h4>
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Ghost released Infestissumam in 2013. If you're from the America land then you will know them as Ghost B.C. They continue with their oddly awesome Satanic themed songs. It's not strictly metal but it's also far from being commercial. They are one of the few bands that divide the metal community. But then some of the people who hate them are just pretentious toss fucks who don't think they're metal just because they don't sound like they're about to Regorge in the Morgue (Vomitory song I quite like). Listen to them below and see what you think. If you don't like them then I don't think we can be friends any more. But do have a listen to Ghuleh/Zombie Queen. It has a great little musical middle part that I do enjoy.<br />
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If I had to choose my Game of the Year I would have to go with Grand Theft Auto V. I would say that, story-wise, it's not as strong as The Last Of Us or Bioshock Infinite but it more than makes up for it with it's gameplay and vast hidden features, such as... Go play it! It hasn't been 6 months yet and half the fun is finding the Easter Eggs. Plus you get to play as three different characters, one of whom is one of the very best video game characters ever brought to sprite life. Trevor is a psycho that we can all learn to love. And all it takes is switching to him while he's being kicked out of a clothes shop while wearing a dress or him waking up on a beach in his underpants. Do what you can to play this game. Say goodbye to your family for a week or two and play the game to death. The less said about the online portion the better. Although I have heard it has gotten better.<br />
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"The burden of a time lord is there's never any time. Too much of eternity and nowhere to unwind"</h4>
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That will be all I shall do for now. I'll let the albums here gestate within you for a while and become a part of you until it bursts forth to infect the next person who needs music in their lives. Kind of like a helpful The Thing. The next part will be about video games again and some music videos and songs that made up my 2013. Mainly because I haven't gotten round to listening to some albums in their entirety. I blame the Shuffle option on iPods.</div>
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Onto my recommendation:</div>
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Bob's Burgers.</div>
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It's a TV show and one of the funniest ones around. Michelle will be happy I chose it.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-49984281326574595232013-12-29T18:27:00.000+00:002013-12-29T18:27:07.075+00:00End of Year Awards: Movie Edition<h3>
"I Know Who The Winner Is..."</h3>
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This year I have decided to make my end of year review into a kind of awards ceremony thing. If you followed me on the facebook last year you may have seen my top ten list of films of 2012 and if you didn't you are either a new friend or an un-friended friend. I have un-friended more people than I have added this year, in which case you probably won't be reading this and it was entirely YOUR fault you were un-friended. As anyone who knows me is sure to admit, I am the nicest, most tolerant person you could meet and your claims of me being an Xbox fanboy just made you come across as the bigger PS3 fanboy. Can't we all just get along and love games despite the platform. Except for the Wii. Which gives me an idea of doing a best video games list this year. Look out for it.<br />
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"Yeah, Looks Like"</h4>
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Now let's begin with this completely meaningless awards ceremony that I have made up categories for just to fit a certain film into. If you want to make it feel more authentic then get yourself an envelope and you can open it before reading who the winner is. And to make it even more fun spray paint the envelope gold. But remember, breathe deeply while spraying. Let's get started.<br />
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<b>Best Tarantino Film:</b><br />
Django Unchained.<br />
Obviously. Everything you love about Tarantino is in this film. From the racism to the unnecessary cameo from the man himself. No matter what he puts into his films it never seems like it's too much or too little. It's always just right. And if you didn't laugh at the hood scene then you need help. Plus it has Christoph Waltz. Christoph Waltz!<br />
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<b>The reason you won't win an Oscar this year:</b><br />
Lincoln.<br />
Why even bother doing your best acting when you're only gonna be going up against Daniel Day-Lewis.<br />
It's like if Mastodon are releasing a new album the same year as yours then expect to be forgotten about. Day-Lewis was really the only man who could do justice to the Lincoln legend. Never mind the fact they overlooked his gayness. but I guess the Electric Six video for Gay Bar can fill in the gaps. HA! Butthole.<br />
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<b>Best film about the end of the world:</b><br />
The World's End.<br />
Sure, this may have been the only film I saw about the end of the world this year but it is still a great film. While it may not be as good as either Shaun or Hot Fuzz I do believe that after some more time and a few more watches it will sit comfortably alongside them as another Cornetto classic. I mean not everyone liked Hot Fuzz when it first came out. Just like all those people who didn't like the first X-Men film until the second one came out. You know who you are.<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Best sequel:</b></span><br />
Despicable Me 2.<br />
Out of all the sequels this year I think Despicable Me 2 did what a sequel should. Go bigger and better. And it did so by having a lot more of the minions in it. You could say Iron Man 3 went bigger and better too but that didn't have minions. I could overlook some of the "dumb action movie plot holes" in it had there been minions. Just replace Jarvis with minions. I just fixed the Iron Man. But yeah, anyway, Despicable Me 2 wins best sequel.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">He sure loves not wearing a top:</span></b><br />
Hugh Jackman in The Wolverine.<br />
Even the movie poster had him topless. I suppose if I had a personal trainer and was ripped I'd go around topless too. Until then I'll just keep taking my top off at inopportune moments. Take that, society.<br />
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<b>Why let the source material get in the way?:</b><br />
World War Z.<br />
It wasn't until after watching World War Z that I decided to see what similarities the film had with the book. It turns out that the book doesn't actually have Brad Pitt being all Brad Pitty while Sub-Human Viral Carriers™ (not real zombies) run amok. It wasn't a bad film itself but it shouldn't have had that title. Just call it "Fast Infectors and the Explosions they Cause."<br />
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<b>Opposite World:</b><br />
Star Trek Into Darkness.<br />
They kind of have all their stories written for themselves now since in the original remake they added that alternate timeline story so all they have to do now is take the same plot from the William Shatner films and swap around what happened to Kirk and Spock. It's ingenious. And lazy. But at least Benedict Cumberbatch was awesome in it. And since this is the opposite I guess that makes Kirk better than Picard.<br />
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<b>Seriously? He's just wearing glasses:</b><br />
Man of Steel.<br />
While Christopher Reeve at least acted like a different person when he was Clark Kent, Henry Cavill just looks like Superman with glasses. And the terrible CGI made it look like video game characters with glitchy bodies were doing the fighting. When The Avengers destroyed a whole city they still looked (relatively) normal while doing it. D.C. Comics, it's time to shit or get off the pot.<br />
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<b>Should have took it easy with the CGI:</b><br />
Mama.<br />
<b></b>Mama was a pretty good idea. It had creepiness and Jamie Lannister. Two of them! But what let it down, like most new horror films, was the overuse of CGI. Sometimes people don't know when to end a film. I can tell you when. It's when you think using shit loads of CGI to try freak out the audience is a good idea. Just look at how good Insidious was without it. And how bad that one part with it was.<br />
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<b>Maybe leave them alone </b>or <b>You probably deserved it:</b><br />
Blackfish.<br />
<b> </b>Has anyone in the world deserved to be mutilated more than those who force killer whales to do tricks and then enclose them in a tiny tank? Maybe post office workers but they're not in a film that I'm aware of. Blackfish is kind of like Oldboy. The whale is held captive for years until they finally get the chance to smash people's faces in with a hammer. And I couldn't be happier to see it.<br />
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<b>Surprisingly better than expected:</b><br />
Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters.<br />
The trailer made this look fun. But then it was put back a year so they could tack 3D onto it which made me think it was gonna be awful. Watching it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. There was some good killings and Jeremy Renner remains unusually good in most everything he does.<br />
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<b>Best prequel:</b><br />
Monsters University.<br />
A friend told me that Monsters University<b></b> was just as good as Inc. but in a totally different way. And he was right. The change of setting gave the creators the chance to add new characters, such as mine and most probably everyone else's favourite, Art, as voiced by Charlie Day acting as himself from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. And we also got the origins of how Mike and Sully became the great monster team and friends they were in Inc.<br />
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<b>What the WTF?:</b><br />
A Field in England.<br />
I watched A Field in England a few weeks ago and I couldn't tell you what it was about. Something to do with digging. There was no real resolution<b></b> but it was quite a trip getting there. Ben Wheatley remains an acquired taste and this would be his second least accessible film. For an introduction I would say try Sightseers. Not as good as I was hoping but I do like his gritty looking documentary style.<br />
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<b>Tom Hiddleston Award:</b><br />
Tom Hiddleston in Thor: The Dark World.<br />
Yes he gets his own award. If you need to ask why then you don't need to know. If other actors were to embrace their roles as much as he does then Hollywood wouldn't be worrying about illegal downloading (and if HMV weren't so piss poor and catering to cretins I wouldn't have to seek other means to watch films). He's the best advertisement for whatever film he's gonna be in. Has any other villain been so loved that they had fans petition for their own film?<br />
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<b>Needless remake:</b><br />
Evil Dead.<br />
Had I seen the Oldboy remake then that might be here instead. I've wrote enough about Evil Dead in the past so you can read my review of it to see why it wasn't welcome. I will say that the people who love this film seem to only talk about how it was all practical effects and not CGI. The effects don't suddenly turn a terribly acted film with an unlikeable cast into a Scorsese film. You can't say it's good just because they use a rubber tongue and not a computer generated one.<br />
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<b>Best underuse of extreme violence</b>:<br />
Elysium.<br />
How has everyone not ripped off Neill Blomkamp's style. Elysium had some of the best camera angles and handheld shots. But it was it's use of extreme violence that I really liked. There wasn't much of it but when there was it was just right. Some films can overdo it and others don't use enough but Blomkamp seemed to know what was called for and when. Even his use of slo-mo was spot on.<br />
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<b>Film of the Year:</b><br />
Pacific Rim.<br />
Unless you've been ignoring me for the last 5 months then you should have known this would be my film of the year. It was also the first film I ever saw in Imax 3D. If you're gonna see a film in 3D then see it in Imax because otherwise you will just be watching a dull picture with some blurry backgrounds. It will also be the first film I see on Blu-ray thanks to Aishling.<br />
Why is this film so good? It's down to the action and the direction and the imagination. In lesser hands this could have been Transformers but in the hands of a genius like Guillermo del Toro we got a spectacular blockbuster the likes of which Americans largely ignored. But they can keep their inspirational music documentaries where a young Katy Perry realises her dream of being a whore. So long as del Toro keeps producing work like this I'm happy to ignore the ignorant and live in a fantasy world of pure bliss.<br />
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"Numbers are as close as we get to the handwriting of God"</h3>
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Well, there you have it. The most definitive end of year review of the past year's films. And if you don't think so then I will attempt to bribe you with a prize. The first, or randomly selected person to answer the following question will win whatever I have lying around that I feel like giving away. It may be something awesome or it may be nothing at all. In all fairness I'd say it'd be either my sister or Aishling who bothers to answer.<br />
What TV shows and/or films are the three heading quotes above taken from?<br />
I want title and the character who said them.<br />
Comment with your answers.<br />
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Now that my bribery is out of the way there is one thing left to do. My recommendation:<br />
Santa's Slay.<br />
It's about former wrestler Bill Goldberg killing people as Santy. Perfect for this time of year.<br />
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Have a Merry Christmas and...<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-55843730049874744782013-10-16T19:25:00.000+01:002013-10-16T19:25:52.024+01:00Silver Shamrock<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><u><b>Halloween Horror Movie Marathon Massacre</b></u></span></h2>
Each year I hold my very own Halloween movie marathon. It is open to anyone who wishes to attend and last year I equalled the all time attendance record of 3. And that includes myself. This year I expect the attendance to range from 1 to 2.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How I feel.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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This blog will be about some of the films I watched last year and some of the ones I'm planning on watching this year. I apologise if I don't review a lot of them efficiently enough but it has been a while since I've seen them. Hopefully there will be some that you'll like to watch yourself at this time of year, especially since most TV stations, here in Ireland anyway, seem to keep all their horror films for Christmas. Who doesn't like watching The Exorcist while taking down a whole selection box. Maybe it's a warning not to overdo it on the food.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Too many cuntin' sprouts!"</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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"Sister, we are the freaks"</h4>
Thanks to Aishling, last year the marathon started off with Hocus Pocus. As it probably will do again this year. If you need to be told to watch this film then you definitely have not seen it and you are missing out. I'm pretty sure it is the perfect child-friendly Halloween film. And it has the dude from Eerie, Indiana in it.<br />
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Now that the child in you has been satisfied it's time to move onto The Mummy. This is the classic Boris Karloff Universal monster movie. Even though it is 70 years old it is still a great, quite suspenseful film.<br />
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You could be forgiven for thinking Stake Land would be a comedy about vampires since it came out a year after Zombieland but the only similarities are in the title. Also there is a grizzled older man helping a younger man across the country. But that's all. I think. It is actually more like The Road. During a time when everyone and their brain dead mothers are in love with any pale-faced fucker with sharp teeth and hair product, it's refreshing to find a film that knows how vampires are supposed to act. They want to kill you, not read poetry. This is a grim, grimey gem.<br />
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I had heard good things about Sleepaway Camp for some time. While it is a typical 80s slasher it does have some good deaths and an ending you need to see that puts it on a higher level than some of it's peers.<br />
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The Return of the Living Dead is a classic. It expertly combines black comedy with horror gore and has some of the best looking zombies in any film, before or since. Everyone will remember the half dead woman and especially the Tarman zombie. But you shouldn't expect anything less from the man who wrote Alien and Total Recall.<br />
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"BRAAAAAAAIIIINS"</h4>
Did you discover the theme of the list of films above? It was types of monsters of horror. There were witches, a mummy, vampires, slasher and zombies. I also had a serial killer one that I didn't get round to watching. Maybe this year.<br />
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I still haven't decided what I want to watch this Halloween but I did come up with two themes I could go for. Or I might just watch anything I feel like.<br />
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The first theme is films by famous horror directors.<br />
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"There's something in the fog"</h4>
Rather than write a piece on each film I'll just list them out.<br />
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John Carpenter's The Fog (or The Thing, or Halloween or Prince of Darkness, or Big Trouble in Little China)<br />
Suspiria by Dario Argento (If you only see one film about a ballet school make it this one)<br />
Black Sabbath by Mario Bava (I am quite fond of a portmanteau)<br />
Pan's Labyrinth by Guillermo del Toro (A masterpiece)<br />
Audition by Takashi Miike (or Imprint, his hour long episode for The Masters of Horror series)<br />
The House by the Cemetery by Lucio Fulci (Worth watching just for Simple Bob)<br />
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The next theme I thought of was sequels.<br />
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"Awww, i guess she had something to do"</h4>
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (It steps away from Michael Myers for a new story, the way John Carpenter had planned for the Halloween movies to be)<br />
Amityville II: The Possession (I recently bought this in Dealz for €1.49. The Z stands for "Value")<br />
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (I think this is the second best film in the series)<br />
The Devil's Rejects (A great road movie with an awesome clown)<br />
The Exorcist III (Undoes the terribleness of the second film)<br />
Troll 2 (You can thank me after you watch it)<br />
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"Tutti fuckin' frutti"</h4>
They be the films I might be watching this Halloween. And if they're not I will let you know whether you like it or not. Also if you have any favourites of your own or any recommendations for me then drop me a comment.<br />
Now for my recommendation for you:<br />
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Trick 'r Treat<br />
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It's a pretty awesome Halloween film that everyone who loves Halloween should see. And watch again every year. Don't confuse it with the other Trick or Treat. If Ozzy and Gene Simmons are in it then you have the wrong one. But watch it anyway.<br />
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I suppose that will be all for now. Get out there and watch some horror films.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-46341656204265022022013-09-12T00:23:00.000+01:002013-09-12T00:23:27.426+01:00Jurassic World?<h3>
"They'll fix you. They fix everything"</h3>
They don't always fix it for the better. And sometimes things don't need fixing at all. The above quote is from the original RoboCop film. I think you can guess where I'm going with this now. This week had the reveal of the first trailer for the new RoboCop which basically took everything awesome about the original and dumped it into a vat of toxic waste and then drove a van into its poor froggy face.<br />
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I'm not gonna put up the trailer here. Call it my civic duty. You can find it yourself but just know that the suit is all wrong, how Murphy ends up near death is PG-13 and there was nary a sign of one of the funny awesome TV ads from the original. Also I don't understand how his voice is normal but when he puts his helmet on it goes all robotic?<br />
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You have 20 years to comply</h3>
This year marked the 20th anniversary of possibly one of the best films to come out in the 90s. I remember seeing Jurassic Park when it first came out in 1993 when I was 10 years old. Now 20 years later I got to see it again in the cinema at the ripe old age of 26. This time in 3D. And if you've been paying attention to my previous blogs you should know that I will only watch 3D films in Imax from now on. And so I did with Jurassic Park. And it looked amazing. One part in particular when the raptors are after the kids and one of them sticks his head up and it looked like he was in the front row of the cinema and you want to yell "Down in front." Who doesn't want a creature coming that close to them?<br />
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The only way they could have made Jurassic Park better all those years ago was to make you feel a part of it. It only took 20 years but now you can feel like you're hiding behind the tree with Dr. Grant and the kids as they watch the T-Rex attack the Gallimimus'. At least you could feel like that if it had stayed in the cinema longer. I don't know why all these great films are only out for a limited time while so much crap is shown for nearly a month. An hour would be too long for a lot of them.<br />
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If the chance ever arises again you should drop everything and go see it. Hopefully you won't be surrounded by a bunch of hipster wads who have to laugh at every little joke just to let everyone know that they got it. You don't know Hell until you hear terrible haircuts in the dark going "Huh huh huh."<br />
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<h3>
"Well give the man a hand"</h3>
This past weekend I also watched two horror films. Not my usual fare of awesome 80's films or Japanese Super Gore. Or terrible horrors for that matter. But actual made in the last few years horrors. The first one was Insidious. I had been meaning to watch it for a long time and the TV decided it was about time too. I have to say it was quite enjoyable. It was made by the Saw guys and they do know how to do horror on a budget. The best part being that they didn't rely on an over abundance of CGI like most horror films do these days. The actual ghosts were played by actual people in costumes which added to the tension. Nothing takes you out of a film more than some fake ass shit.<br />
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The second half of my horror double bill was Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. It's about little creatures who live in the dark and befriend a small human girl but are evil little buggers. Unfortunately because of the rating it didn't/couldn't have people being killed which I thought took something away from it. It just needed that little push over the edge. Even though it was co-written by Guillermo del Toro it still lacked his style. I think that had he directed it himself it would have had the fairytale feel which would work for the story and if there were more kills it would have made it more grown up.<br />
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<h3>
"Your move, creep"</h3>
That's the end of that now. All that is left is for my recommendation and for you to admit that you read those Franklin quotes in his voice.<br />
Since you watched Tokyo Gore Police last time (yeah right) I think I'll be gentle on you this time.<br />
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Monster Squad<br />
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A delightful tale about the Universal monsters coming to a small town with plans to take over the world and some kids who befriend Frankenstein. And the Wolfman has got nards.<br />
Also Tom Noonen play Frankenstein and he was in the sequel to the film that I quoted about the place here. It all ties together and you didn't even know. Without me you'd just go on living your life not knowing that. You're welcome. High five!?<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-76131889797283994072013-08-17T22:36:00.003+01:002013-08-17T22:43:34.680+01:00Today I Talk About The Apocalypse <br />
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Pacific Rim may not be getting a sequel. If that's not a sign of the apocalypse then i don't know what is.</div>
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The fact that more people went to see Grown Ups 2 than went to see Pacific Rim must have something to do with one of the Horsemen. Possibly the fifth Horseman: Retard. Because if you haven't seen Pacific Rim and absolutely loved it then Retard the Horseman must have touched you. Inappropriately too, I bet.</div>
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I've decided not to endorse your shark</h4>
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First off I will say something about Imax 3D. If you read my last main blog post then you'll know what I think of it. I had never been to an Imax film before and I decided (on the day I saw Mastodon) that I would like to see one and I designated Pacific Rim as the film that I would want to see in this new way. So me and the little lady booked our tickets online (it's cheaper that way) and headed to the big city. There were posters outside the screen saying something like: "You can see a movie or be a part of it." I thought it was a bit boastful and didn't think anything of it. Until I actually put on the glasses and got to see something in Imax 3D.</div>
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You're gonna need a bigger park</h4>
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The first thing I saw in this new style was a trailer for Jurassic Park 3D and it looks outstanding. From the Gallimimus' running, to Jeff Goldblum's foot in your face. Remember when you first saw Jurassic Park and the feeling you got that it was something special? Imax 3D will give you that feeling again 20 years later. And if I get the chance to see it again I can't wait to have the T-Rex roaring in my face. A bit like when I went to Walking with Dinosaurs last year. Imax 3D may have ruined normal 3D films for me but I already hated them anyway, I just now know for definite that they are a waste of money. Imax 3D, just like garlic bread, IS the future.</div>
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Pacific Rimmed</h4>
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From the first trailer I knew that I would love this film. Not only is it about giant robots fighting giant monsters but it was made by Guillermo del Toro. The man doesn't know how to make a bad film. He's made two of my favourite comic book movies in Hellboy 1 and 2 and I don't think anyone can hate Pan's Labyrinth, and if you do then you need to learn to read (I'm assuming you hated it because it has subtitles). Del toro is still a kid at heart and it shows in the different creatures he makes. A lot of them could only be thought up by a child. Albeit a child who has nightmares a lot. If I owned a film studio I would give del Toro as much money as he wanted just so he could keep making the films he wants and we deserve. Also he geeks out when he sees a giant Gundam robot. Witness:</div>
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If you have read other reviews you may think this is a "dumb" summer film. While it's not a "smart" film like Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy it is far from dumb. I would say Prometheus is a dumb film, but that's more down to the film having been written by a a group of 7 year olds. Transformers is a dumb film. Actually I would say the Transformers films had been ass blasted by Retard the Horseman. Similarly Michael Bay. But if you enjoyed Avengers Assemble (or whatever it's called this week) and didn't think it was silly, what with all the aliens, gods and the roided up super human, then you should have no problem with Pacific Rim.</div>
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The acting isn't the best. But really if you're watching this for the acting then you're not doing it right. This is a film all about the spectacle. It's a blockbuster the way it's supposed to be done. Don't let the story get in the way. It's about GIANT ROBOTS FIGHTING GIANT MONSTERS. But still it makes you care about some of the characters such as Ron Perlman and Charlie Day. Besides, you should be caring about them in real life as it is.</div>
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So as we've discovered the acting isn't the best and the story leaves a little to be desired but what makes this such a great film is GIANT ROBOTS FIGHTING GIANT MONSTERS. As a child if you had toys and an imagination then you will love seeing your toys duking it out on the big screen. This is what Imax 3D was waiting for. You feel like you're actually in the film and could touch Charlie Hunnam on the shoulder (or somewhere else, am I right ladies?). Also my favourite part was when the little helicopters would fly by and you think you could catch them because they looked so small compared to the Jaegers and Kaiju.</div>
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In conclusion, as if you couldn't guess, Pacific Rim is an awesome blockbuster film. It's just a shame that it may not be thought of that way due to a bad American box office. But there is hope. It has done amazingly well in China, which once again has saved America for their poor decisions, and there is talk of a sequel.</div>
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The best review I can give this film is that after the first 20 minutes I turned to Aishling and said "Is this the best film we have ever seen?", but I already knew the answer. So just imagine how much better it gets in the next two hours.</div>
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<a href="http://4thstringjaegers.tumblr.com/">http://4thstringjaegers.tumblr.com/</a></div>
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Go there if you like the pictures of the Jaegers.</div>
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"Fish are friends, not food"</h4>
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Recommendation time. This time I recommend:</div>
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Tokyo Gore Police.</div>
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If you have ever wanted to enter the world of Japanese Super Gore then this is a good place to start. Just don't expect to come out of it the same person you were when you went in. You will see things.</div>
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Well that's it again. Hope you liked it. And remember:</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-77067656902335250702013-08-09T21:35:00.002+01:002013-08-09T21:35:35.913+01:00Some Terrible News<h3>
"I want to know who you're meeting in the cemetery" </h3>
I have decided to update my blog more often and the best way to do this will be to give my views on recent news items in the world of film and music and anything else I feel like doing because it's my blog and I can do what I want.<br />
<br />
<h4>
"Look at the pelican fly. Come on pelican!" </h4>
First up is the news of a remake of Scarface.<br />
We all know that Al Pacino IS Scarface. So trying to recreate the character with anyone else would be like Kanye West trying to convince people he's Jesus. You can tell people you're the second coming all you want but Jesus would never have to tell people he's Jesus. And he wouldn't be such an arrogant, talentless gay fish either.<br />
But I digress. Here's a quote from The Hollywood Reporter about what the film will be about:<br />
<blockquote>
Each [of the previous films] were crime sagas telling the
rise and fall of a gangster, and each was a mirror of their time. The
1932 version was set in Chicago and featured bootlegging, Italians and
Irish mobsters. The 1983 version was set in Latin-loving Miami and
cocaine was the vice of choice.<br />
The new Scarface is planned to be the same: a crime tale set in today’s world, offering a dark look at the American Dream.</blockquote>
So it's going to be about today's "American Dream"? I guess we can expect Tanning Chatum teaming up with Sam "One Character" Worthington to stop a black man from taking their guns away all while trying to prevent abortions and breaking up gay marriages.<br />
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</h4>
<h4>
A Host of problems.</h4>
Well really only one. Snowpiercer is the new film from The Host director Bong Joon-ho. It is doing amazingly well in Korean cinemas but that hasn't stopped Harvey Weinstein from wanting to cut 20 minutes from the film to dumb it down for American audiences (pretty much his own words). The film is only 126 minutes as it is and if 20 minutes were to be cut from it it would "eliminate much of the character detail, which would make the film seem more like an action movie." I'm sure not all Americans need or want films cut so they think their watching another Michael Bay film. It's just another case of an asshole film exec maiming an artists work just to fill his pockets.<br />
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<h4>
Whatever happened to originality?</h4>
Akira is back. But only as an Americanised live action film. That doesn't make a lick of sense. That's like remaking a Lucio Fulci film without the dubbed voices and with CGI effects. Nobody wants it. You know why? Because it lacks a soul. Apparently Warner's want to get it made because they are unhappy with the lack of box office made from recent films like Pacific Rim. If there's one way to make money from Americans who don't like giant robots and monsters based on Japanese anime and kaiju films it's by making a live action film based on a Japanese manga and anime.<br />
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<h4>
"It's always with the goddamn fucking chicken"</h4>
So I should end on a pretty good note, the remake of Poltergeist may have Sam Rockwell in it. Now that's how you cast for a remake. <br />
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This blog was brought to you by an ad for Lucio Fulci season on horror channel and Little Miss Sunshine which is on now. Not on horror channel.<br />
I hope my next blog isn't as much an attack on Americans as this one seems to be. But just in case you were wondering, I do not have any oil so don't bother attacking back. Unless you want sunflower oil.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-91001894009326082762013-07-30T23:40:00.000+01:002013-07-30T23:40:07.817+01:00Donkey Kong ain't got nothing on me!<h3>
<u>Documentaries</u></h3>
This past month I watched a few documentary films. These ranged from steroid use (Bigger, Stronger, Faster) which isn't as bad as you would think, unless it's in sport. Wrestling, (Beyond the Mat) which I hadn't seen in over 10 years but is still as good as when I first saw it, the film, not actual wrestling, I still watch wrestling. And the exciting unpredictable world of competitive arcade gaming. If that last sentence makes no sense to you then you need to watch The King of Kong.<br />
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<h4>
"Stop playin' Donkey Koooonnnggg!"</h4>
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<h4>
</h4>
The King of Kong is a rare thing; a documentary that is so crazy you can't believe it's real. There were times while watching it that I couldn't actually fathom that certain things could really happen. I don't want to give much away but you wouldn't find a better protagonist to root for or a worse unredeemable antagonist in any other films this side of Tarantino.<br />
<br />
The story follows Steve Wiebe as he gets a Donkey Kong arcade cabinet and becomes obsessed with beating a near 25 year score record set by Billy Mitchell. Billy Mitchell lives a rockstar-like lifestyle. As much of a rockstar lifestyle that a video game playing hot sauce selling man can have. And when Steve Wiebe enters the lion's den, so to speak, you realise just how many disciples Billy Mitchell has. They will do anything for him seemingly just to be associated with him.<br />
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You should definitely watch this film. You never knew there were people out there who took arcade gaming so seriously. And for anyone who thinks they're a nerd just because you wear glasses, watch Japanese anime and act awkward then prepare to feel like a fraud because you will see real nerds in this.<br />
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<h4>
Deceiver of the Gods</h4>
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I have recently been listening to the new Amon Amarth album <i>Deceiver of the Gods. </i>For anyone who knows who Amon Amarth are then you know how epic their songs can be. For those who don't then you need to get on the longboat. This album is part concept and part typical Amon Amarth songs about war and death.<br />
<br />
The concept part is about Loke and his hatred for the gods of Asgard. The opening title track is about his feelings towards the gods and his plan to rule Asgard. "As Loke Falls", if you can't tell from the song title, is about the fall of Loke during his fight with Heimdall. Loke leads the army of the dead from Hel to Asgard during Ragnarok. Next up is "Father of the Wolf". This is the story of how Loke devours Gullveig's heart to raise her from the dead so she can bring forth Fenrir. The last song of the concept is "Shape Shifter". This is basically about Loke's shpae shifting ability and his disdain for the gods.<br />
<br />
The next few songs are about battles and revenge which you may think would get old but when Amon Amarth do it you never lose interest in them. In between them there is a song about Hel, the ruler of... Hel. She describes the kind of people who are sent to her realm. This song also has a guest appearance from none other than Messiah Marcolin. No? Nothing? You need to get out more. Or stay in. But listen to Candlemass while you do it.<br />
<br />
In the hands of any other band these songs would never sound as grandiose or authentic but Amon Amarth have been doing this long enough and have gotten their sound down. Plus they look like Vikings. Have you seen Johan Hegg's beard? Go look at it now and tell me that the beard alone doesn't give them tonnes of credibility.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://spinningsounds.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/johan-heggs-beard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="254" src="http://spinningsounds.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/johan-heggs-beard.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I made it easy for you.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
<tr><td valign="top">No looking, Aishling.</td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td><td valign="top"><br /></td></tr>
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Imax, You-max, We all max</h4>
My recommendation this time:<br />
Pacific Rim.<br />
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<br />
I will forever tell people to see Pacific Rim. If you have the chance to see it in Imax 3D then all the better. It's like 3D except it actually works.<br />
I will have more about Pacific Rim and Imax 3D in my next blog. However I can't understand how it did so bad in the U.S. but everywhere else it was a success. I mean people actually went in their droves to see three shitty Transformer films. And Pacific Rim is nothing like that mess of a series. For one it's actually good. And B, it was made by a proper artist. I'm beginning to think that Americans don't like films unless they're set in America. Just look at the opening weekend box office for The Wolverine.<br />
<br />
That's all for now. If you have a problem with anything I said then please direct all complaints to your mother's butt.<br />
Everybody pants now. Pants, pants, pants, pants, pants.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-31651988789459658592013-06-16T20:00:00.001+01:002013-06-16T20:03:00.900+01:00It's Just a Curl of the Burl<h3>
Dry Bone Valley</h3>
It has been over a month since my last post so in this one I'm going to write a few reviews of some films I've watched and an awesome gig I went to. Just in case some of you decide not to read this blog because you think it's just going to be about a metal band then I will start with my film reviews.<br />
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<h3>
Octopus Has No Friends</h3>
<h4>
The Amazing Spider-Man</h4>
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</h4>
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<h4>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></h4>
<h4>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"> "Amazing" isn't a word I would use to describe this film. "Waste", "Of" and "Time". They're more like the ones I would use and they're already in the right order. I can't say I'm a fan of Spider-Man in the first place. I used to love the '90's cartoon but the recent films have just made Spider-Man seem like a complete tool. How can someone so uncool get awesome powers and still remain uncool. All while spouting some hackneyed one-liners that would make '80's Arnie want to "let off some steam." Avoid it if you can. And if you can't, at least the two hour run time seems to go by quick enough.</span></h4>
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A Fantastic Fear of Everything</h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></h4>
<h4>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"> Simon Pegg plays a writer who becomes afraid of his surroundings while writing a TV series based on murderers. I found it a little hard to get into at the start. Maybe it was down to the slight over-use of narration but after a while it picks up. It's at this point that it becomes quite unpredictable which only adds to the humour and turns what was probably a half decent film into an enjoyably great movie.</span></h4>
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<h4>
Prometheus</h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></h4>
<h4>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"> I hadn't watched Prometheus since last year when I saw it in the cinema. And I have to say I could have waited longer. It's still a big mess of a movie that leaves you yelling at the idiots on screen when they can't do anything right. "You're scientists! You shouldn't be so stupid." I guess judging from the youth of today it was only inevitable that future scientists would only get dumber. There's already enough stuff online about how it doesn't make sense and how the characters are all terribly written so I won't add to that. My only question is: If all future intelligence is as bad as this film makes it seem, how did they invent a spaceship?</span></h4>
<h4>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"></span> </h4>
<h4>
Moonrise Kingdom</h4>
<h4>
</h4>
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<br />
I'm shocked that I waited so long to watch this film again. I wrote about this in my Top 10 Cinema Films of 2012. So if you bothered to read that Facebook post of mine then you'll already know my feelings on it. So in the interest of fairness, and laziness, I'm just gonna copy and paste what i said. JOURNALISM.<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"> </span></span><br />
<b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Bill
Murray. Two words that should make you want to see this. Bill Murray
and a shoe. There's five and you're still here? Wes Anderson can make a
dysfunctional family or group of people seem real. No matter how over
the top it becomes you still find it believable.</span></span></b><br />
<br />
<h3>
<b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Blood & Thunder</span></span></b></h3>
<h4>
<b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">MASTODON</span></span></b></h4>
<h4>
<b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"> </span></span></b></h4>
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<a href="http://exhibits.museum.state.il.us/exhibits/larson/images/mammut.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="170" src="http://exhibits.museum.state.il.us/exhibits/larson/images/mammut.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"> <span style="font-size: x-small;">Not to be confused with a Mammoth</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Gigs, and music for that matter, don't get much better than Mastodon. This was my third time seeing Mastodon live and as good as the first two were this one was much better. I credit it to the fact that they now have so much more music to pick from. Considering their last album was a masterpiece it's no surprise that they played ten out of the thirteen songs off it. But you could say that all their albums are masterpieces, at least until a new one of theirs come out. Rarely do you witness a band's fans sing along to the new songs as </span></span><b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"> </span></span></b><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">fervently as they do to the classics. (I mean who wants to hear new AC/DC? It sounds the same as the old stuff anyway. Just play Highway to Hell and the opening riff to Thunderstruck and everyone will be happy) The proof of this was during Curl of the Burl when Brent Hind's guitar decided to give up and yet he was still able to walk away from the mic and get a new guitar while everyone in the place sang the lyrics for him.</span></span><br />
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><br /></span></span>
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">To witness Brann Dailor play drums is something else. The man never stops. I would be surprised if there was one piece of his drum kit that he didn't hit during every song. That's why I never trust drummers with only one tom drum. What's wrong with you? Are you afraid of actually playing it? Brann can play like he has six arms AND sing at the same time. Unbelievable drummer.</span></span><br />
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<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Bill Kelliher is somewhat the opposite of Brent on guitar. Both are fantastic guitarists but Bill tends to be more laid back while playing. Unfortunately he was the opposite side of the stage from where I was so I didn't get to watch him shred as much as I would have liked.</span></span><br />
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<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">And yes Michelle, Troy Sanders was there too. He was pretty much the focal point of the band. When he wasn't singing he was bouncing around the stage. At least this time he had the room to move not like when they played in Belfast the last time.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I got this shirt</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">If you happen to not like good music then at least you had Robbie Williams and Bon Jovi to go see this week. You just happened to make the wrong life choice and I hope you feel bad. But as Mastodon sing in the song "Blasteroid": If you are sad/ and need to cry/ then turn around and go outside.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aishling got this one</td></tr>
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<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Stargasm </span></span></h3>
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">I suppose that's enough gushing over Mastodon and enough belittling of your choice in music. Now it's just time to leave you with my movie recommendation.</span></span><br />
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent"><b>Robot & Frank</b></span></span><br />
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">This film was out last year and I don't know what made me think of it recently but I'm glad I did. Where nowadays some indie movies try too hard to "feel" indie (usually by putting mopey teens in it), this one actually succeeds by just being plain good.</span></span><br />
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<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">That's it for now. All I need is a sign off. Someone come up with a groovy catchphrase for me to end my blogs on. There may be a prize in it for you. But most likely not. Bye-bye.</span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-7055697001462782802013-05-13T21:42:00.000+01:002013-05-13T21:43:52.414+01:00Gwangi!!<h3>
Ray Harryhausen 1920-2013</h3>
It was a sad week with the passing of possibly the greatest legend in stop-motion animation, or as the man called it himself: "Dynamation". Ray Harryhausen influenced nearly every special effects artists working today from Steven Spielberg to Nick Park.<br />
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If like me you saw some of his films when you were young then i should hope his creations stuck with you over all that time. I can remember seeing Clash of the Titans and Jason and the Argonauts and the fantastic looking creatures from the mind of Harryhausen. The Medusa, the Kraken, the Hydra and the cool skeleton warriors. These days computers are used to create such creatures but somehow they never look as good. The best example of this is in the remake of Clash of the Titans. Not only was it bad enough that they tacked on 3D, had Sam "one character" Worthington in it, but they left out Bubo. They just had a quick shot of him. Sacrilege! Compare the Kraken in both films and i think you'll find that the original is far better. It just has a weight to it that makes it more real.<br />
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I watched the documentary Ray Harryhausen: Special Effects Titan. It's a great look back at the films he made with interviews from big name directors such as Peter Jackson and Steven Spielberg and from the special effects people behind films like Star Wars and Jurassic Park. Seeing the painstaking work that went into making his films makes you realise just how talented the man was. Not only had he to create the monsters but then he had to film them. In the documentary he explains how he shot the movie The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms, which is about a monster that awakens from under the sea due to atomic tests. Can you name the series of films that stole this idea? I won't explain the process of how he shot it so you can see it for yourself but mainly because i can't remember it exactly. It's no surprise he only made 16 films in his 40 year career.<br />
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The one complaint i have with the documentary is James Cameron. I don't see how you can make a film about someone as talented as Ray Harryhausen who spent ages crafting many amazing looking creatures and giving each one a personality and then have a man who lets computers do his work for him while he farts out some basic story. It reminded me of another documentary i saw: It Might Get Loud. In it Jimmy Page and Jack White talk about their life and love of playing guitar and then The Edge comes on and you just yell at him to go away so you can see more of Jimmy Page being like a child as he listens to his vinyl records. Nobody wants to hear from The Edge or James Cameron. Both of whom have diluted their respective art with too many effects.<br />
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But we do get one great moment when Cameron says that if Harryhausen was making films today he'd definitely use computers and then we cut back to Ray and he says he wouldn't go near a computer and would stay with his stop-motion.<br />
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One of the best things about the documentary is the fact that Ray Harryhausen is in it talking us through his films. I don't think it would have been as good had it been made posthumously. We also get to see some of the models he made. The detail that went into making all the creatures is astounding. You should definitely watch this documentary and then watch his films. You owe it to the man.<br />
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"Must rupture the moon crust" she's thinking.</h4>
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Now i'm sure you have watched Gentlemen Broncos. And loved it. How could you not? It's just too strange not to be awesome.<br />
My recommendation this time is for another awesomely strange film. This time from 70's Japan:<br />
Hausu.<br />
This picture should pretty much tell you all you need to know about it.<br />
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If that doesn't pique your interest then go watch Avatar.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6274521683910631015.post-24286707905242776892013-04-27T21:47:00.000+01:002013-04-27T22:26:53.132+01:00A Review of Things.<h2>
<span style="font-size: small;">"Fuck the cops. Fuck 'em!"</span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: small;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well <span style="font-size: small;">I</span> hop<span style="font-size: small;">e</span> some of you took my advice last <span style="font-size: small;">time</span></span> and watched Seven Psychopaths. And you <span style="font-size: small;">can now appreciate just how great Sam Rockwell is. It was one of the best films released last year and had a lot more going for it than all the summer blockbusters combined. The <span style="font-size: small;">story was ingenious<span style="font-size: small;">: a screenwriter trying to write a new film <span style="font-size: small;">and not reali<span style="font-size: small;">sing how his own life was actually playing out <span style="font-size: small;">better than any film he could come up with.<span style="font-size: small;"> Every actor put in a great performance<span style="font-size: small;">. I'm not go<span style="font-size: small;">in<span style="font-size: small;">g</span> to praise Christopher Walken and Sam Rockwell </span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span>because we all know that they never let you down<span style="font-size: small;">. I was never a fan of Colin Farrell but after watching him in this <span style="font-size: small;">I have kind of forgiven him for being out<span style="font-size: small;">-</span>acted </span></span>by his own eyebrows in all the <span style="font-size: small;">crap he usually decides to make. As for <span style="font-size: small;">W</span>oody Harrelson<span style="font-size: small;">, he's at <span style="font-size: small;">his best when he's allowed to play <span style="font-size: small;">the over-the-t<span style="font-size: small;">op characte<span style="font-size: small;">r.<span style="font-size: small;"> Even Tom Waits adds a bit of cool eccentricity to an already ecc<span style="font-size: small;">entri<span style="font-size: small;">c</span> cast<span style="font-size: small;"> of characters.</span></span> And of course the best part of th<span style="font-size: small;">e film is the shoot-out in the cem<span style="font-size: small;">etery<span style="font-size: small;">. <span style="font-size: small;">That scene alone</span> puts almost every other action film to shame.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Groovy"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;">This week i decided to watch the original Evil Dead films before going to see the remake/reboot<span style="font-size: small;"> or whatever they decide to name these superfluous<span style="font-size: small;"> abominations.</span></span></span> Abomination may be a strong word for this remake. But it's almost perfect for the likes of The Thing premake and the Saws.<br />
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While Evil Dead (2013) isn't exactly a terrible film it could, however, be any horror film. The only thing that ties it to the original is the fact it's set in a cabin and has a book of the dead, which in no way looks as awesome as the one from Evil Dead 2. I wouldn't even pick it up if i saw it at a book sale, human flesh cover or not. Where the original had the young folk find a tape recorder and accidentally play the incantation to release the demons, this one has the guy with the glasses read it from the book despite all the warnings he saw written throughout it. Seriously, how can the guy with the glasses be such a dipstick?<br />
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Evil Dead (2013) relies too heavily on the usual horror clichés that most new horror films overuse. I could actually name them all right before they happened. And when will people learn that jump scares are not scary? In the original Evil Dead when the camera runs through the forest you get the sense that something is coming but in this one it just feels like someone is running through the forest with a camera. Also there was no imagination with the look of the possessed people. If they have red contact lenses and some blood on them then you can assume they are possessed.<br />
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At this point you're probably wondering why I said this wasn't a terrible film and then did nothing but complain about what it did wrong. The thing is I can't really say what I liked about it but I just didn't hate it. Maybe it's because since this did well there have been rumours about Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell teaming up again to make a new Evil Dead or Army of Darkness. And that can only be a good thing. Even if we have to put up with a cliché ridden remake.<br />
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In conclusion I would recommend Evil Dead (2013) to anyone wanting to see a new horror film. Just don't expect anything groundbreaking or overly memorable. If, however, you wasted money every year on Paranormal Activity or Saw before that then please don't hesitate to spend money on this. You will be giving me and other real horror fans the chance to see a proper Evil Dead made with Bruce Campbell.<br />
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<h4>
"Hey! I'll swallow your soul! I'll swallow your soul!"</h4>
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So there it is. My somewhat 2 star review of a film I would recommend. But of course the best way to make up your mind is to watch it yourself. You'll either like it or gain a new found respect for the originals.<br />
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Now for my suggestion on what you should watch:<br />
Gentlemen Broncos.<br />
If you don't laugh your Broncanus off then you should check your pulse. You may already be dead.<br />
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Until next time, beware of the surveillance does. I hate those.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00413395863478185799noreply@blogger.com0